Star: Based on a True Story

Math

2011-02-02T12:16:00.001-08:00

Hey, I'm not judging...

On being single...

2011-01-01T22:25:00.000-08:00

"I have a ton of guy-friends, which is basically a firing-squad of rejection"

Orchestra

2010-12-28T11:29:00.000-08:00

I read this today and thought it too beautiful and poignant not to share.

"Some are lost because they are different. They feel as though they don’t belong. Perhaps because they are different, they find themselves slipping away from the flock. They may look, act, think, and speak differently than those around them and that sometimes causes them to assume they don’t fit in. They conclude that they are not needed.

Tied to this misconception is the erroneous belief that all members of the Church should look, talk, and be alike. The Lord did not people the earth with a vibrant orchestra of personalities only to value the piccolos of the world. Every instrument is precious and adds to the complex beauty of the symphony. All of Heavenly Father’s children are different in some degree, yet each has his own beautiful sound that adds depth and richness to the whole.

This variety of creation itself is a testament of how the Lord values all His children. He does not esteem one flesh above another, but He “inviteth them all to come unto him and partake of his goodness; and he denieth none that come unto him, black and white, bond and free, male and female; . . . all are alike unto God.”

. . .Brothers and sisters, if only we had more compassion for those who are different from us, it would lighten many of the problems and sorrows in the world today. It would certainly make our families and the Church a more hallowed and heavenly place."

-Jospeh B Wirthlin

Elder Cody Bug

2010-11-11T17:22:00.000-08:00

My baby brother is now a missionary! He has been in the Argentina MTC for 2 weeks now and he is LOVING it. Driving him to the Airport instead of the MTC was weird.

Here is me and Annie showing off our Lip Gloss at Cody's Goodbye Breakfast. I'll probably send him this picture and tell him it's us blowing him a kiss goodbye.

Here is our Family at the airport, right before Cody had finally had enough of us and made it through Security where we would have to stop hugging him and pinching his cute little cheeks. (Lacy was missing because of higher education, so she is excused)

At Cody's Farewell. We still all look like clones but Cody is finally the tallest.

Cody is allowed to email on Thursday and today I was just made aware that I've been sending his emails to his old email address. In his letter today he wrote... " Hmmm and Star? Why? Porque no me amas? (Why don't you love me?) No letter. If only I had the perfect scripture to send to you telling me how to guilt people into sending me mail. Let me just check my fancy book thingy here."

Which is hilarious because I made Cody a book of everything I learned and thought he needed to know for his mission.

This was one of my favorite pages from the book. (Cody got the actual picture in his book)

The book, by the way, is awesome. It ended up being about 50 pages. Here's a small sampling of what I put into it.

Cover Page.

Back Page
Several Facebook Pages

Scrapbook pages

Cuisine

Good Mission Advice

Also in Cody's letter was this, "So not much has happened since last week. Except that they dropped me and another white boy in some subburb in Buenos Freakin Aires."

I can't imagine! When I was in the Provo MTC the worst that they did to us was make us talk to people pretending to be investigators. We had no idea what those people were saying but we could just smile and nod. He had to go out and talk to people. He said that a missionary from another church tried to preach to them, "It was like a 7 minute rant and all we heard was Yo se que (I know that) and Creo que (I believe). I feel bad for the guy though, he put so much effort and facial expression into trying to convert us and we had absolutely no idea what on earth he was saying."

He LOVES getting to play soccer everyday. They call him Baby Rooney due to his skill and his ability to look like Wayne Rooney the soccer player.

No, Star is not my stripper name, it's my real name.

2010-10-07T19:44:00.000-07:00

My Stripper name is actually Sacralicious.

I often chide my parents about their choice in name for me. "What, exactly, did you want me to grow up to be?" I would tease them. "A stripper or possibly a Madame who runs the best little whore house in Texas"

Here is a random Facebook Message I got today.

I can only assume that Southern Comfort is a strip joint, and he would like me to get him in touch with one of the dancers. I, of course, immediately went and checked my privacy settings.

All disturbing pervs aside... I really do love my name. I can't tell you how proud I feel when someone tells me my name fits me perfectly. (unless of course they are alluding to the fact that I am some sort of trollup. I am actually quite the prude, Thank You very much)

Unless, of course, I am in Vegas.

Fire

2010-09-20T10:29:00.000-07:00

Sunday, September 19, 2010

4:30pm: There I was driving along I-15 heading to my parents house in Herriman for Sunday Dinner. Around 9000 S I noticed a huge billowing cloud of smoke hovering over the Herriman area. I called my mom and half-jokingly asked, “Is Herriman on fire?”. She was confused. Herriman was not on fire, they hadn’t noticed the smoke, and it didn’t appear too bad from their house. As I exited I-15 I could see that the fire was on the other side of the mountain.

4:45-7:25pm: We ate dinner and planned our trip to Yellowstone. (Yellowstone is going to be so much fun)

7:30pm: We noticed the smoke was worse and then watched it climb over the top of the mountain. The flames were HUGE! We stood in awe and speculated what would happen. We hoped that the fire would have a difficult time going down the mountain. Within 5 minutes it had speedily spread down toward the neighborhoods.

8:30pm: We took Hilary and her 3 kids home. Said prayers, brushed teeth, washed faces, and put on pajamas. The girls were in their beds and Isaac was fighting off sleep in his swing when Hilary’s neighbor came over and told us we needed to evacuate. We called Cody, he came over, loaded up the kids in Hilary’s van and took them to our parent’s house. Hilary and I packed two duffle bags of clothes, diapers, toiletries, passports, birth certificates, computer hard drives. It was fascinating to sit there and ask Hilary what she wanted to take. It was unlikely that the house would burn down but she needed to be prepared for anything.

The fire was huge and intense but when a house caught on fire, everybody knew it. Those fires were Ginormous.

My favorite part of the experience was finding Hilary’s missing cell phone. She had misplaced it in the past few days. We were calling it and searching the house. I finally heard a faint rumble. It took quite a few minutes to locate the sound, as it turns out it was coming from the dryer! This is why people should buy indestructible phones. Hilary’s phone made it through her washer and dryer. It came out squeaky clean and was no worse for wear. Awesome

9:00-10:00pm: We had evacuated about 1 mile up the road to my parent’s house. The smoke was overwhelming. There were times you could barely see, and breathing wasn’t the easiest. We waited for Hilary’s Husband Greg to get home from work. He got stopped outside the neighborhood but was allowed to walk about a mile to the house to get his family. They left at about 10:30 to stay at an Aunt’s house (didn’t want the kids breathing in the smoke). My mom and dad stayed put.

11:30pm: I arrived home, wired and smelling like a slept in a campfire. It's going to be a long Monday.

Crazy!

Baby Isaac

2010-07-21T07:12:00.000-07:00

Anyone who knows me knows how proud I am of my nieces. Well now I have a nephew!

Baby Isaac born July 6, 2010 @ 1:37 am Weighing in at 8 lb. 1 ounce, 20 inches.

The rest of my family was in Mexico. We got on the internet and facebook chatted with Hilary as often as possible. On July 5th we were chatting and keeping track of her contractions. It helped us feel more part of the process.

Isn't he precious?

Ahh! Nothing better than a baby sleeping on your chest.

This is Cody and Isaac pretending to sleep. Neither of them are good at this game.

Spring Break 2010 Again?

2010-07-20T08:00:00.000-07:00

So, many of you might be confused. This post is all about my trip to Cancun, but wait, you might shout at your computer. Star just went to Cancun in April... Well, friend, prepare yourselves. I am the luckiest girl on earth and got to go on the same vacation twice!
Trip 1: Spring Break 2010 to Cancun with some friends, where we saw ruins, went to awesome water parks and the beach.
Trip 2: Cody's Pre-Mission Trip 2010 to Playa Del Carmen (about 40 miles south of Cancun), where we saw ruins, went to an awesome water park and played on the beach.
So here's the recap, with pictures. They may not be in order.

Day 1: Fourth of July
We flew out of SLC at 10ish. Called Hilary one last time and lamented the fact that her third child seemed to not want to be born until we were out of the country just to spite us.
We arrived in VERY hot and humid Mexico. Headed over to the rental car place and then very comically tried to squeeze five adults and five pieces of luggage into a very small car. Cody, Talina and I rode squished in the back WITH two pieces of luggage on top of us. It was very hot.

We arrived at our resort, the Blue Bay Esmeralda. It was MagnificentWe spent a few nights in the Resorts Sports Bar, Drinking Virgin Pina Coladas and playing Mormon Bridge.

The resort had 4 fancy restaurants. We ate at the Mexican Food one first. Talina and Cody trying hard to make sure their smiles don't hide their eyes.

We went to Coba on Tuesday. It rained non stop all day. We were soaked to the bone. It made treking through the jungle much more... authentic? More Indiana Jonesish.

The most random part of that day were the twilight boys. We were walking through the ruins when out of the Jungle ran 6 or 7 boys in swim trunks and tennis shoes. My brother leaned over and asked, "What's up with Jacob Black and his friends" It was hilarious. But at least these boys appeared to be more age appropriate then 17 year olds.

CHITZEN ITZA was AMAZING

Cody, Being eaten by a snake.

We thought this skeleton looked like Achmed the dead terrorist.

The Ball Court

Majestic!

So Chichen Itza, Tulum and Coba. They were incredible. And going with my dad is like going with the best Tour Guide ever. He knows everything about that place. And I mean Mexico, not just the ruins.

Our Resort was breath taking and had huge pools and a very pretty beach. They had daily activities including Beach Volleyball. That was a favorite for my family. Cody, Talina and I all played. I jammed my thumb really bad right at the beginning but continued to play. I must say, My family is really good at serving. Of course, I couldn't move my thumb for the next week.

Best. Vacation. Ever.

July 3, 2010

2010-07-19T10:01:00.000-07:00

I love when the 4th of July is on Sunday in UT. That means Saturday night celebrations and Monday's off of work. In my family it was even more special because half of us were celebrating Independence Day by flying to Mexico. Luckily the 3rd was awesome.

Here's Ellie and I hanging out at Greg's Parents house. I broke out my liquid eyeliner, that doubled as the best face painting kit ever. She looks so dastardly.

Speaking of dastardly...

We headed over to Murray Park when it got later to watch the fireworks.

The Girls loved the Fireworks. Ellie was nice enough to stand up and switch positions every 2 minutes so we all got the chance to hold her.

I Punched A Shark

2010-07-18T21:47:00.000-07:00

I jammed my thumb. Twice. In two weeks. And let me tell you, not only is it painful, but also very annoying. Although I seem to be getting very adept at using my only three of my fingers on my left hand.

It first happened in Mexico. Today I decided to start telling people it was caused by me punching a shark. Yep, I was swimming around and along came a shark and I punched it in the nose.

So far two people have bought the story. But I did tell them the truth soon after.

The Truth: I was playing Beach Volleyball and did a wonky set to someone. Jammed my thumb. Hurt pretty bad but I finished the game. Which was a lot of fun.

A week later I felt pretty good, so I went to Ward Softball. Then immediately re-jammed it playing catch. That second time. Much more painful. I thought I was going to cry but my brother being there prevented it. He was all, "Are you going to cry? There's no crying in Softball. If you're not going to play, take me to Icecream." So I did. And then the next day. T his is what I woke up to.

Strangely, the hardest things to do with a jammed thumb... Open Ketchup packets. Seriously. It's near impossible.

Boo Yah!

A family that trespasses together...

2010-07-18T10:01:00.000-07:00

Flat Rock: A Memorial Day Adventure.

If I could meet and thank one man from History, it would be Brigham Young. "Brigham" I would say, "Thank you for sending my pioneer ancestors to Upton, UT. You provided us with the perfect place for Family Reunions for Generations!"

My Great Grandmother was born in this house.

Although there are currently sheep that spend there days inside it really has been an awesome place to see. This small house is on some of the most beautiful land in Utah. Nearby is what our family calls "Flat Rock". The story my grandfather has told me is that this area used to be a giant lake. In Jr High I think I discovered it must have been part of Lake Bonneville. There was an earthquake. The water rushed away and the rock bottom slid up the side of a mountain range. Walking up the Rock you can see fossils of Shells and fish. It is awesome.

My Grandpa's family sold the land years ago, but, with the condition that the family would be allowed back every memorial day weekend. My mom had never missed a Memorial Day weekend her entire life, even when she was 9 months pregnant and a couple days overdue with Hilary. She hadn't had the baby yet but she was definately going to make it to "Flat Rock".

About 10 years ago the people who had bought the land from my family, sold it to some new owners. These new owners unfortunately knew nothing of the arrangement made for my family. So it's been a while since we got to journey to the Powell Family's Mecca. It has been heart breaking. This year we decided to try to see the old homestead, come what may.

Also found in Upton is a small cemetary where many of my ancestors have been buried. Here's Annie and Ellie sitting in front of my great Grandparents Headstone.

And here is Ellie attempting to stand on one of the headstones. We had a hard time convincing her they weren't fun climbing rocks.

Every year I would seek out this headstone. I thought it was neat, and would like my tombstone to share how I died as well. ESPECIALLY if it is in a cool way like being struck by lightning.

This is my Uncle Burn's Headstone.

Here's Ellie donning a hat, She looks so cute in hats, but will only keep them on for an average of about 3 minutes.
Here's Annie playing down by the River. When my siblilngs and I were younger we would attempt to build a dam every year. We would manage to flood a small area and make a very shallow swimming whole.

When we arrived at the Rock, there was in fact a fence up, with no trespassing signs... Hmmm, decision time. Most of my family decided it was worth it to climb under or over the fence, including my sister who was 9 months pregnant. She takes after her mother that way.

Pictured Below: Hilary, me, Annie, Ellie, Dad (Robert) and Cody. Greg (Hilary's husband is taking the picture.)

Here is the view from the top of the rock portion of the mountain. We needed a picture of the wimplets who decided not to trespass. My mom, Talina and David. (David had many job interviews lined up, many including back ground checks, Guess he didn't want to risk mucking up his chances)

My Dad, finally getting to take a Grandchild up Flat Rock.

Hilary made it to almost the very top, but after the flat part ends it's much more like hiking so we sent her back down. (9 months pregnant, remember)

Greg and Ellie (Ellie practically ran up that hill)

Once over the top, we get to head down the backside of the mountain. Here's Cody finding Deer Antlers.COUGAR HOLES!!! Running along the side of FlatRock are what we have dubbed cougar holes. I'm pretty sure that no cougar has ever been in one of them but...

I'm pretty sure my parents have pictures of me and my siblings crawling thorugh these holes.

And here we are celebrating our petty crime and the re-living of our childhoods.

Great Day!

Baby Brother Toady-Bug

2010-06-25T05:58:00.000-07:00

My Baby Brother Cody. Also affectionately known as Toad, Toady, Toady-Bug, Bug, Bud and the newest and favorite Uncle Doh-Doh. (that was Ellie's interpretation of his name).

He is THE BEST uncle in the entire world. And if you would like to argue with me, first consider these facts.

Cody will go over to Hilary's House, knock on the door and ask if Annie and Ellie can come out and play, he will then spend hours with them in the sandbox and build cities and towns, with lakes and rivers.

Cody just graduated from High School. Something he was pretty underwhelmed by.
He was confused when most of his sisters showed up to the HighSchool to take pictures of him and the Rents.

You see for Cody (and most of my family) graduating High School is considered more of a requirement for life than a great accomplishment. But we are proud of him and gave him Presents.

This was from my parents.

Just Kidding, This is the neighbors car. But they let him drive it.

I LOVE this picture. My whole family seems to be looking in different directions, except for me who has been hamming it up for the camera and have been for the prior 2 minutes

This picture is my... "Ha ha ha, I enjoy life"

Here I am at the career center. I didn't want my picture taken next to the small man and skeleton but... It was just such an inspiring moment.

Here's Talina (Beans) pointing out 1 of the places her name is displayed in Cottonwood. She was quite the Smarty Pants back then (and now).

Cody and Mom! He's finally taller than her!

Awwwwww!

Adorableness Overload

2010-06-24T10:12:00.000-07:00

Okay friends, family and blog stalkers. Prepare yourselves for something completely adorable...

Are you prepared? Really? Okay, brace yourselves.

Don't say I didn't warn you! These are my nieces. In this picture they appear to be lovingly sharing a chocolate milk. With their straws all crossed it appears to be the picture of sisterly love. Little do you realize that they are in a fierce battle to obtain as much of that chocolate milk as possible. I think they finished the whole bottle in just under 15 seconds.

This is Annie:

She is freakishly adorable. What with her perfectly natural ringlets, Her Fancy Nancy Style and the precociousness of Little Orphan Annie, Little Lulu and Michelle Tanner all rolled into one! She recently turned 4.

And this is Ellie:

She is also adorable beyond words and about the biggest character you may ever meet. She is small but mighty, a girl of VERY few words but the most expressive person you will ever meet. And I will do just about anything to bring a smile to her face

Here is an example of expressive little Ellie. This is how she tells me she wants some of my lip gloss.

It's usually the first thing she does when she sees me!

So that's it. That's all the offspring my siblings have produced as of yet. (well actually, this is all Hilary has produced. My Dad has repeatedly called the rest of us slackers for not producing more grandchildren) But soon, Hilary is going to have her third baby. A little boy. Isaac is due any day now and we are so excited. So you may want to start preparing now for some of the most adorable new born pictures ever!!!

Zombie Preparedness

2010-05-26T09:23:00.000-07:00

So I've come to realize that boys and girls are very different. I know, shocker, right? But seriously. I've learned that boys from 12 to 45 have actual Zombie Contingency plans. They have groups of friends (we'll call them... crazy anti-zombie militia's) that they get together with and plan out what to do if there is a zombie invasion. They have supplies, jobs, etc. It's crazy! I know of no girls who get together with their friends to plan and prepare for this kind of situation. The closest we get is having parties where we teach each other to make tasty food out of our food storage items.

At work we had a hilarious conversation about what to do if zombies attack. I was actually really surprised to find how prepared and well-thought out their strategies were. I told them that girls don't plan for this kind of thing, We just plan for weddings and the like. I was informed that we could keep on planning those weddings... but with the zombie contingency plan. It will definitely have to be a "shot-gun" wedding. Where all the guests, the bride and groom, are well armed with shotguns and machete's just in case zombies attack the wedding...

If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times. Boys and Girls are different.

The Zombie Invasion: Dream Version

2010-05-25T09:52:00.000-07:00

So how often is having a Zombie Dream normal? Once a year? Once a month? Once a week? I tend to have a Zombie dream a few times a month. They're not bad. I don't consider them nightmares, more often than not they are adventures. I'm all abou the maiming and killing of the undead. (Don't Judge Me!)

Although my last zombie dream was neither nightmare nor adventure. It hink it was an odd commentary on dating. So the dream started out with me and a group of friends fighting off a Zombie Horde. Then later, things calmed down and were were just hanging out. My friend, We'll call her Amy for the sake of the story, announced that she wanted to start dating Justin (I don't know if this was his actual name) Just was a cute, nice guy and they seemed to really get along. The only problem was... Justin was either part zombie or slowly turning into a zombie. He was great and normal most of t he time but from time to time he would lose coherency and start to try and eat Amy's Brains. So, naturally, I was concerned abou the relationship. It was so weird. We seemed to treat is like a normal issue a boyfriend could have, like he's a great guy but tends to have unpredictable mood swings.

So despite my advice that their relationship was going to be more difficult than it needed to be she decided she would dat him. So I became their chaperone. I would follow them around, and every once in a while when his eyes would glaze over and he'd start leaning in toward her brains, I would throw a piece of cow brain to him to satiate his appetite. Weird, right? What do you think Freud would say?

Horizons Broadened, Mind Blown

2010-04-15T09:01:00.000-07:00

If you had asked me 2 months ago if I was a picky eater I would have said no. I would have explained that growing up I was always pretty finicky but living in Texas and learning to eat foods I had previously didn’t like had really helped me change my palate. Well, if you were to ask me today if I was a picky eater I would have to answer a resound yes.

The fact that I am a picky eater has become apparent through, what you might think of as an unrelated event. That event? My new roommate Liz moved in. How are these two things related? You might ask.

Well, Liz is a bit of a gourmet cook. Seriously. She has cooked some of the most scrumptious things I have ever tasted. There was the epic Quesadilla night. Liz had bought those Costco tortillas, which in their own right are a culinary delight. I thought we were just going to put some cheese, maybe some chicken and eat with salsa and sour cream. Oh, Star. You uncultured simpleton. Liz had a whole different breed of quesadilla planned. At first glance, I was convinced I would hate it but… It was magical. I had two, and then asked her to make them again a few days later. (I’m not sure what the exact ingredients were but there was basil, spinach, special kinds of fancy cheese, some seasonings, possibly onions.) Then there was the ward mingles salad. I was convinced I wouldn’t like It, mainly because It consisted of cucumber, tomatoes, and bread. But it was the best thing ever!

Liz is a busy, busy girl. She works and she’s in school. Scheduled to graduate this May. So on those few nights when she has time she comes home and prepares spectacular meals. Which, thankfully, she is anxious for me to try. In the conversations leading up to these meals she’ll ask me if I like certain things. More often than not… no, I don’t. I’m willing to try just about anything (except fish, when she cooks fish, I lock myself in my room and don’t emerge until the next day, when hopefully the smell has sufficiently dissipated). I have discovered oh so many things that I dislike that I had never realized I disliked before.

The short list of things Star doesn’t like:
Fish
Mushy stuff: Cooked carrots, oatmeal, grits, etc.
Mushrooms (Whole mushrooms are gross, cut up mushrooms mixed in meals or cream of mushroom soup is fine, there are actually plenty of foods I like the essence of, but not the whole thing)
Eggy Desserts: Flan and the like
OLIVES
And plenty of other stuff

Last night Liz held a Dinner Group at our house. Her dinner group is wilding entertaining and delicious. She made Chicken stuffed with… I’m trying to remember exactly, but I’ll get most of it wrong. Goat cheese, diced almonds, peaches, spices and herbs. The chicken was served with this amazing Mint Pesto.

The salad was amazing, except she made me put these smelly olives in it. If I picked those out the salad was delicious.

She broiled carrots, and even though I loathe cooked carrots I have to admit they were pretty good. And for dessert was some sort of lemony custard thing. It was delicious.

Dinner was amazing. I felt like I had gone to a fancy restaurant or something, except that this restaurant made me help them prepare my meal. Liz didn’t make me, I was happy to learn. I learned to zest a lemon, fold stuff into a dessert (I never knew what that meant, basically just stir softly.)

Besides eating better food, Liz living with me has taught me much about the food world. 1. I LOVE basil. Holy Crap I love it. 2. I really like herbs. I’ve never used them in my cooking because I didn’t know how. Gone are those bland days of yore. 3. I bought freshly grated parmesan cheese, some Italian spices and have created my own culinary delight to sprinkle on spinach raviolis

Horizon Expanded; Mind Blown! Thanks Liz!

The Best of my Facebook Status’ Part Deux

2010-04-13T10:06:00.000-07:00

Here are some of the best things that have made it onto my facebook page!

My friend told me to grow up. So I told him to get out of my fort!

Star realized that leftovers are like the undead. You can bring them back to life with the microwave, but there's just something a bit different about them...

Star is trapped in the Facebook status message textbox; send help!

Star is going to the dark side...they have candy

Star’s favorite fruit is grapes. Because with grapes, you always get another chance. ‘Cause, you know, if you have a crappy apple or a peach, you’re stuck with that crappy piece of fruit. But if you have a crappy grape, no problem - just move on to the next. ‘Grapes: The Fruit of Hope.

Star thinks rice is a good option if you feel like eating 3000 of something.

You never know what I have up my sleeve. Today, for instance, it was a goldfish cracker.

Wit, n.: The art of subtly steering a conversation in the direction of the hilarious pun you came up with 3 weeks ago.

Star thinks Uggs are the onomatopoeia of footwear.

Don’t you hate when the whole movie theater’s empty, but some guy sits right next to you? I know you do, that’s why I do it.

Star would never want to be able to read people's minds. Think of all the Mariah Carey songs I'd have to rummage through to get their bank account information

Star wants you to imagine that I have a big smile on my face. Also, for the heck of it, put me in a top hat

Star has mastered the art of verbal combat and sarcastic witticism.

Star can't figure out who in the world this girl is that people keep quoting, and why everyone knows what she said.

Star thinks that your incessant rambling goes perfectly with my terrible listening skills.

If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason."

~“I don’t mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that’s how it comes out.”

Why was the spork necessary? Discuss.

Star thinks that today she’s going to start every sentence with “speaking of vampires...”

Star was making pancakes the other day and a fly flew into the kitchen. And that’s when she realized that a spatula is a lot like a fly-swatter. And a crushed fly is a lot like a blueberry. And a roommate is a lot like a fly eater

Star went into a clothing store and a lady came up to her and said “if you need anything, I’m Jill”. Star’s never met anyone with a conditional identity before.

Star likes fruit baskets because it gives you the ability to mail someone a piece of fruit without appearing insane. Like, if someone just mailed you an apple you’d be like ‘Huh? What the crap is this?’, but if it’s in a fruit basket you’re like ‘This is nice!

Star just heard that Shia Lebeouf has signed a deal with Paramount to ruin another one of your childhood memories.

Star is sure there’s something funny about this cactus, but she can’t put her finger on it.

Star never judges a book by its cover. She uses the paragraph on the back, it tells you what the story is about.

Star has learned a lot from her mistakes. Mainly, how the legal system works.

Star knows Kung Fu, Karate, and 47 other dangerous words…

Star is thinking she could definitely meet her weight loss goal if she had to pedal to use the computer.

Whenever someone asks me to define love, I usually think for a minute, then I spin around and pin the guy's arm behind his back. NOW who's asking the questions?

Star needs a hug, but not from you, you have germs

Star reminds you that when we resort to violence, nobody wins. Wait, that’s wrong. I win…always!!! Got that! ALWAYS!!!

Star carries a lighter… she doesn’t smoke… just really likes certain songs.

Star replaced his tie with a boa constrictor. Let's see if he- OH! OH NO! THIS ISN'T FUNNY AT ALL!

Star has childproofed her home but they’re still getting in

People always want to have their pictures taken with me. I'm like a sunset.

Star is making "fruitcakes" out of stuff she finds under her sofa cushions.

Travel Log the Last

2010-04-07T06:00:00.000-07:00

So this is my final travel log. I have led you through a delightful tale of an amazing journey, day by each glorious day. This post is dedicated to the random and funny happenings of the trip.

Spring Break Barbie Dolls get in an epic screaming match at 6:30am. Okay, So like I’ve said, I’m up pretty early, I’m thinking these girls were up pretty late. It all began with Melissa getting up, and getting ready in the bathroom. When she emerged she looks at me with an incredulous look and asks. “Did you hear that?” Confused and uncomfortable as to what she thought I might have overheard I replied, “huh? No, but I wasn’t listening.” Heh. What a hilarious misunderstanding.

She was referring to our neighbors screaming at one another in their bathroom. I walked into ours and it was like being in the same room with them. As near as we can tell one of them was accusing the other of taking drugs. And the drug taking girl was offended that she would be accused of such a thing. I don’t think she ever denied it. She was just mad about being accused of it. The fight lasted a while and some of the most memorable lines were…

“Look, I’m just mad that you accused me.” shouted Spring Break Druggie Barbie

“Well you were in the bathroom room making weird noises.” Replied Spring Break Ridiculous Barbie

“You don’t understand what I’ve been going through. I’ve been sick for a while so I came in here and started going Bleg, Blah, Barf (she was making the weird throw up sounds but I wasn’t sure how to type that)” said Spring Break Druggie Barbie.

“…” replied Spring Break Ridiculous Barbie

“ You don’t get it. I haven’t been able to poop in FOUR DAYS!” screamed Spring Break Druggie Barbie.

Then she went on for awhile about her struggle with constipation. I am not even getting. We were losing it. This led to much joking about not being sympathetic to the constipated populations plights.

“fine, Whatever, I don’t care then.” Said Spring Break Ridiculous Barbie.

“no, You don’t understand. I just want you to say your sorry for accusing me,” rationalized Spring Break Druggie Barbie.

“Fine! I’m sorry, okay, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, sorry, sorry.“ shouted Spring Break Ridiculous Barbie. She literally yelled a nonsensical apology for about 3 minutes.

And Scene.

Ridiculous.

The next fun fact… I single handedly ruined some Spring Breakers Night of Drunken Debauchery. While driving home from Tulum we came across a GIANT puddle. I slowed way down but was still creating quite the sizable wave. Some Pedestrians were approaching so I maintained my speed and they could clearly see exactly how much and where my splash would land. As it was the worst it would do would be to get their feet wet. But as fate would have it, just as we were passing them we hit a pot hole and a giant wave washed over them and soaked them from head to foot. I felt horrible, but at the same time could NOT stop laughing. It was great.

Travel Log the Fourth

2010-04-06T07:00:00.000-07:00

On our last day of SPRING BREAK 2010 WHOOO! I woke up bright and early at 6am. I quietly changed into my bathing suit and headed down to the beach. I walked in the surf until about 7am. All along the Hotel Zone there are a ton of Giant Conch Shells just sitting on the beach. And you are more than welcome to take them. And I totally would have if I was planning on checking my luggage but all I had was a carryon and I didn’t think I could get it past customs.

Melissa came down to the beach at 7am and we walked along the shore looking for a stretch of beach that didn’t have the dreaded red flags. (Signifying dangerous undertows, meaning you weren’t allowed to swim) We finally found other vacationers willing to brave drowning and we all swam happily in the surf until a life guard came running out and blew his whistle at us menacingly. We slowly sulked back into shore like errant children. But, I got my beach time in so I was happy.

We then swam in the pool at our hotel. This pool had a pretty dolphin design on the bottom, that when viewed from above appeared to be a drowning man. My first trip to the pool, nearly had me diving in to save the poor creature.

We then went to the airport. We were all flying stand by and when we arrived they told us there were 4 seats available. And at the time only 4 people wanted those seats so it was looking good. There was Shannon, an employee so she had a high priority. A nice lady we met, who was an employees mom who had slightly higher priority than Melissa and me. So as long as no employees showed up, or someone else bumped from another flight. So I sat in horror for about an hour for fear of other travelers showing up. A little bit before the plane left they explained to us that there were 5 passengers from a Mexico City Flight who would bump us if there flight made it to Cancun in time. Luckily it didn’t and we made it home safely.

Travel Log the Third and a Half

2010-04-05T09:27:00.000-07:00

After Coba we headed to Tulum. If you go to the Cancun area and can only see one, you should see Tulum. It is gorgeous. We hired ourselves a hunky mormon guide. His name is Abinidi. He is going to be my Mayan Husband. (I really hope Shannon got a picture of him on her camera.) He gave us an incredible tour.

This is Melissa on the train heading up to Tulum. She got wacked by several palm trees.

In Mayan, Tulum translates as Wall. This city had a big wall built around it, and this is us coming through one of the entrances.

This is us on the beach they used to let people swim at, but found that turtles were laying there eggs here so now it's better protected.

Beautiful, right? A note about my pants, so... these pants are weird in that they can only be worn once. If worn more than once they triple in size. This is my third day wearing them without washing them... So they are huge and practically falling off of me. It was not my intention to wear them. I packed plenty of fun, spring like skirts so my legs could get some sun. I could not find my one pair of modest shorts. But soon realized that my skirts enjoyed the breeze off the ocean a little too much and I was Marilyn Monroeing it all over the place.

Cool Plant. They would make sewing needles out of the tips.

Do you see the face on the side of the building?

The Temple

This was their view, jealous right?

Abinidi took these pictures. sigh.

I'm so good at taking pictures of myself and the scenary.

It was a very hot and sunny day, but was starting to get cloudy.

Melissa and I.

I think this is what Heaven looks like.

The Temple.

The Wall and One of the Watch Towers. In one of the center buildings the Mayans had put a hole in the roof that would whistle whena hurricane was coming.

I loved the purple plant against the ruins.

Pretty.

Melissa and Shannon at the end of the tour.

Please hold for my final blog post on my vacation...

Travel Log the Third

2010-04-04T06:00:00.000-07:00

This was my favorite day. We did something so crazy, so ridiculous you are just going to shake your head in disbelief and mutter, “oh, Star. You silly, silly girl.” You guessed it, we rented a car! This wasn’t just any car mind you. This was a tiny, stick shift car, with no power steering. I have driven a stick shift in quite a while and getting on the road was… well, terrifying. Not for me. Mainly for my passengers. They were not quite as confident about surviving the day as I was. But once we were on the road it all came back to me. It’s like riding a bike. Which I had learned the previous day was also like riding a bike. It all just comes back to you. No matter how long ago you had done it.

We drove about an hour and half over the high way and through the Jungle to Coba.

The Mayan ruins at Cobá are unique in that they have been barely restored, merely cleared. Only a few of its estimated 6,500 structures have been uncovered, but the ones that have been are graceful and impressive.On these quiet and peaceful grounds it´s hard to imagine that Cobá may have once had the largest population of all the ancient Mayan cities. This vast Mayan archeological site dates from 600-900 A.D. and there were an estimated 100,000 people living in its domain. It was the heart of a large metropolis composed of many cities within the eastern Yucatan.

So I stole this description from the Internet but I thought it was perfectly fitting. Coba was incredible. They had two of those ball court thingies. So many of you may know that my arch nemesis is stairs… Yep. I hate them, and they hate me more. But I climbed the tallest pyramid on the Yucatan peninsula. It was incredible. At the top you can overlook the jungle canopy and see unexcavated temple mounds peeking above the trees.

This was the first building we saw. And I thought it was huge! Once we saw the main pyramid this thing looked tiny.

This is the big Temple!

Going down was terrifying. So we scooted down on our butts. The rocks had been worn smooth from everyone scooting down.

This is us at the top. Under the descending God. He's upside down, because he came down to earth (mormon wink)

The view from the top. You can see that first building off in the distance.

We were racing. I was winning at this point. Well my guy was.

We are Mayan Princesses.

The observatory. We were exhausted. This is the right after the pyramid climb.

Scary face on a building.

Me in a tunnel under a building.

Just chillin' in a tunnel.

Melissa at the first building.

Shannon and Melissa at the first building. Still not nearly as tall as the big pyramid.

Near the Mayan Palace

It was the hottest day of our trip, so we decided to hire these bicycle guys to drive us around (Coba is HUGE!) Best money I spent on the trip. Melissa and Shannon shared a ride while I got a personal tour of Coba in Spanish from my adorable little guide. We felt super bad for them having to pedal us around in the hot sun so we tipped them quite a bit.

Travel Log the Second

2010-04-03T06:00:00.000-07:00

SPRING BREAK 2010 WHOOO!

This was our theme for the trip. 3 wild and crazy gals, heading to Mexico for Spring Break. The last spring break I really remember celebrating was near South Padre Island. For those of you who watch MTV you may know that South Padre Island is one of the craziest and best places for drunken Spring Breakers. It was also located in my mission. So Spring Break 2004 was very memorable. Everytime me and my companion would get in our car that week I would cheer, “SPRING BREAK 2004 WHOOO!”

For our second day of SPRING BREAK 2010, WHOOO!, we headed down to Xel Ha! Described on their website as “Our Natural Wonder and its open-sea aquarium offer a myriad of land and water activities, ecological attractions, world-class restaurants, and countless more unimaginable experiences”

It was amazing. We rode bikes through the jungle. Floated down a river, and snorkeled to our hearts content. And the food... it was magical

This was the River we floated down. In the back you can see a tiny opening where we emerged from the Jungle.

This was the Mayan Cave. We snorkeled down in there! So much fun!

Travel Log the First

2010-04-02T10:04:00.001-07:00

So, did any of you happen to notice that I just disappeared last week? Maybe you tried to call me, or email me, or send me a text that I just ignored? Well. I do have a good excuse. I went to MEXICO!

Usually when preparing for a vacation I am sure to inform every person I know all about it. I count down by creating a paper chain that I hang around my cubicle at work. I research and plan meticulously and I tell everyone about each and everyone of those plans. This trip was unique. One, it was a little last minute. Two, I was a bit of a tag along traveler. And Three, I didn’t know almost any detail about the trip until I showed up to go to the airport Tuesday Morning. So, when I began telling people about my awesome upcoming trip they would inevitably ask questions like… “What are you going to do? When are you coming home?” These were questions I just didn’t have answers for so I stopped bringing it up.

One friend in particular was very concerned. The Friday before I left she had to cancel plans with me at the last minute. No problem. Or so she thought. She sent me a series of texts.

Tuesday: “Do you want to hang out this week?”
Tuesday Night: “Haven’t heard from you, Want to hang out Thursday night?”
Wednesday: “Hey, How’ve you been? Sorry about last week. Want to hang out sometime?”
Wednesday: “Look, I’m REALLY sorry about last week. I hope your not mad.”
Thursday: “Are we in a fight?”
Thursday: “Now I’m worried you are dead in a ditch somewhere, please text me.”
Friday: She left me a voicemail, something she almost never does. I was able to text her once I got back to Salt Lake. Poor thing.

Have you ever flown stand-by? This was my first time and although we got on the non-stop flight to Cancun and everything worked out perfectly it was a very nerve-wracking experience. For those of you who have traveled with me, or read my last blog post, may know that I like to arrive at the airport as early as possible. So when my dear friend Melissa told me to meet her at her parents house in Sandy at 8am for our 9:45am flight… well I was in a bit of a panic. All week I kept asking her, “Are you sure you want to meet at 8? I can be there earlier.” After meeting Melissa and getting Shannon we were on our way to the airport at about 8:30. I was all smiles and tried to appear calm because this was my first time meeting Shannon, and my first time traveling with them. I wanted to make a good impression. But on the inside I was a nervous wreck. I felt like my heart was going to explode. We had to run to our plane. But we made it! And we were on our way, to one of my favorite vacations ever.

Sneak Preview... Most of my pictures of me on my trip were from this angle. :)

Wanted: Travel Buddies

2010-03-30T09:51:00.000-07:00

Would you like to be my travel companion? Before you decide let me give you my disclaimer.

I was raised in a family of nomadic morning people. Waking up with the rising sun, or before the rising sun is the norm in our tribe. And we wouldn’t go back to sleep until everything we could possibly want to visit or see was closed, or rendered invisible. Hotels were places we put our bags and slept for a few hours each night. Not a place to relax in or spend any time in.

Although we love a good spur of the moment trip, we are meticulous planners. We are often found with giant folders full of maps, reservations, and brochures. In preparation to my last trip to Cancun, my father reserved 8 books on Mexico, the Conquistadores, the Mayans, etc for me at the Library. I managed to read about 3 of them and felt woefully unprepared with my knowledge of the history of Cancun.

For those of you familiar with the Color Personality Test let me tell you up front that I am a Red/Yellow. Not a Yellow/ Red, or the beloved blue or whites. I am a Red. Through and Through. I not only like being in charge, I very nearly thrive on it. Now, I can relinquish control (through heavy meditation) but if I can be in control. I will be. This need to be in control is often the reason I want to be the driver. Or if I’m placed in a situation where I am not in control, like the airport. I will arrive VERY early so as to feel I have done all that is necessary to make sure things go smoothly.

I am not unreasonable. I want everyone going to get to do what they most want to do. If you tell me your hearts desire before we leave (i.e. sitting on a beach all day long and doing nothing else) That’s great. I will work it into the schedule. But, I will most likely insist that you decide what time you want to go to the beach and then there will be no dilly dallying until we are there.

Sound Good? I really am fun to travel with. Don’t be scared off. Anyone want to go on vacation with me?

Girls Night

2010-03-03T14:45:00.001-08:00

I love Girls Night! My friends Jeddah and Stacey came over to play. We of course began with the customery girls night meal. Pizza and Italian Cheese Bread. So Good! Then of course we put on our formal wear.

What? You don't dress in formal wear during your Girl's Night Parties? That's just strange. Actually, Stacey announced her plans to go on a cruise with her Hubby for their long awaited Honeymoon. (Yep, they are finally taking that trip, and only after having three babies!) We talked excitedly about all the fun stuff there was to do on a cruise, including the 'Formal Night'. I realized that I had a formal dress that was probably just her size. I promise, anyone who wears it will feel like Glinda the good witch from the Wizard of Oz. It fit her perfectly. Inspiring Jeddah and I to don other dresses I have randomly stored under my bed. Old Choir dresses, and bridesmaid dresses.

We then, as you might have guessed, had a dance party. We danced the night away in our formal wear. Showing off our best clubbing moves. For me... that didn't take very long. Jeddah on the other hand has a whole slew of awesome clubbing dances.

Then we headed off to Arctic Circle of Icecream.

Jeddah didn't feel the need to dress down, as going to Arctic Circle has always been a formal affair in her family.

My SAD Vacation

2010-02-17T12:12:00.000-08:00

So what did you do for Valentines? I went on a mini-Vacation and it was awesome! First off you should know that I don’t celebrate Valentines, and can’t think of a year that I actually have. Sad right? I know. I have many times celebrated Single Awareness Day, it just happens to fall on February 14th too. This year SAD fell on a Sunday. On Saturday my friend, Jeddah, came over to hang out and she asked me, “Star, how spontaneous are you?” “not much.” I truthfully replied, For those of you who know me well, know this to be true. I am an old lady living in a much younger ladies body, I need to plan things ahead of time and I need to go to bed at a reasonable hour. These things make it hard to be spontaneous. “Well, let’s go to St. George tomorrow!” Jeddah enthusiastically suggested. “Why?” “To see the Parade of Homes!”

That’s right friends, me and 3 of my wild and crazy (single, but for the life of me I can’t figure out why) friends decide to drive down to St George to lust after other people’s homes. It was great! (that wasn’t sarcastic, I promise, remember, I am an old lady masquerading as a younger lady, Parade of Homes(POH) is right up my alley.)

We left early Sunday morning, and began our road trip of anti-valentines day and obesity. That second part was due entirely to the obscene amounts of junk food that was consumed on the trip. Seriously people, I have come to the conclusion that I will never be able to afford most of the homes, or possessions of what I saw this weekend, and I’m okay with that. I think my favorite part was how quickly we became home snobs. i.e. “I wouldn’t have put that specific water feature there. I would have placed it near the atrium, or… I would have outlined my pool with sapphires instead of diamonds. “ Serious fun.

Some of my favorite things were the Lava Flow House (A house built in a (dormant) lava field, where only exhibitionist would be comfortable in. All the walls were glass, including the bathrooms.) I LOVED the closet that was as big as my condo. The house where the front room was completely open to the outdoors, But you could pull down the secret wall to close it up if there was bad weather.

This is a basement Kitchen!

Fun Outdoor Living

The Cadillac of Golf Carts

How would you like this pool?

This is a Raquetball Court in someone's basement, Jeddah said, "this is the sky box VIP room. that girl next to me is Selena Gomez. Thats how VIP that box is."

A small corner of that giant closet

Part of the Master Bathroom

We did squeeze in some shopping. I finally bought a little black dress, mainly because I once heard that every girl NEEDS a little black dress (and by that I mean appropriate sized, modest, black dress) I’m not sure where I’m going to wear it too, I’m going to have to plan a cruise just for an excuse to wear it.

Jeddah, JTT and Carissa were so much fun, and we spent most of our time laughing hysterically, Mainly at Jeddah. Seriously. I think she’s the funniest person I’ve ever met. And she gave me my new gangster name… Pink Eye… long story.
So to summarize, it was fun, short, we went swimming and the weather was perfect. Such a great weekend. Thanks Ladies!

Clarification

2010-01-08T16:17:00.000-08:00

I just wanted to make a quick clarification now that some of my anger has cooled. I believe we need Reform. Huge Reform. The system is broken. But the bills presented will not fix it (in my opinion) it will only make it worse. People need coverage. Good Coverage. I believe the answer lies somewhere in creating integrated systems. They are trying to fix the Health Insurance side first. Get everyone covered for everything... then later, we'll look at fixing the Providers, Hospitals and best practices. They need to implement integrated systems that work. Like Intermountain Healthcare, and Kaiser and a few others. And then make THOSE better. That is not what they are doing.

I know I have a unique perspective. I work for a Health Insurance Company. A great one. One that really trys to help it's members. But even our system can be improved. But knowing some of the why and the how has really made me cynical toward this because I think that Congress and President Obama know even less about how the healthcare system works than me.

We need to fix things, and help people, and make health insurance affordable. But this is not the way.

National Healthcare Reform

2010-01-08T14:49:00.000-08:00

***This post became much longer than I anticipated... but it is filled with some of my best righteous anger!

Let me just say that I am livid over the National Healthcare Reform. Not those words specifically more the bills that have been passed in the House and Senate. My only (small) consolation is that now those two bills have to be reconciled together… that may save us a bit.

To let you know the level of my anger let me explain by saying the whole thing has literally made me change parties. I have always identified myself as a Democrat. But now, I can honestly say I’m not sure what even made me think that! I am now a proud Republican (not like, super proud because of certain people in my new party, but you know…)
Someone told me a story today that made me smile. Her friend (a devout democrat) went off to college. On her break back she had a talk with her dad (a devout republican). He asked how she was doing in school. She was doing pretty good A’s and B’s. He then asked how her roommate was doing. She was barely getting by on D’s because of all the partying and drinking she had participated in. So her Dad suggested to her that the college should give everyone an averaged grade. Everyone should just get a C. That would be fair, right? The daughter quickly opposed that notion and said, “What about all my hard work, that’s not fair.” Her father answered, “Welcome to the Republican Party!”

A few days ago I would have found that story cheesy and a little ridiculous, but today. Amen!

Today I got to go to a meeting about National Reform. I don’t remember all the points but… this is what I took out of it.
The Reform will take away Pre-Existing Waiting Periods. Now I understand that for many this is fantastic. And from my own families experience PEC can be evil but… It is a necessary evil. The reason some plans have PEC is to keep Insurance costs down. PEC currently has automatic exclusions. These really make people upset. They state that you can’t get treated for certain services for the first (6 months, 12 months, 18 months) of your policy IF you are in a PEC waiting period. The reason they have these automatic exclusions is to prevent people from just getting insurance for these few things and then jumping right off again when it’s taken care of. If too many people do that it would bankrupt ANY insurance company. With everyone having to have health insurance you may not think that this is a problem but it is. Right now the penalties for not having insurance are not that bad and the “young and healthy” will probably just pay the penalty and anytime they have an issue just jump onto insurance for a few months and then right back off when they are better. Health Insurance only works because the “young and healthy” pay premiums, but don’t utilize the system much, thus paying for the sickly and old. But it all works out in the end because eventually the “young and health” become the “sickly and old” Perfect Balance. This reform is totally going to mess with that!

The reform also has a guarantee issue. Meaning nobody can be denied from having health insurance. You can’t even be rated based on health conditions (basically getting rid of underwriting). Again, to the consumer this sounds super fantastic but… That means that very sick people with very expensive illnesses are going to be with the same insurance company as you. They have absolutely no limits now, no visit limits, no cap on benefit, and no lifetime maximums. Right now we have plans like HIP UT to insure the “uninsurable” but we won’t need that program anymore… Current HIP UT members have the potential to bankrupt any Health Insurance Company.
They have suggested that everyone pay equal costs. Meaning the old and sickly will pay approximately the same as the young and healthy. Does that seem fair? So it’s going to be great for you 60 year olds out there, your premiums are coming down, but is going to raise the 20 year olds premiums quite a bit.

With the public option the Government is going to now decide what is covered and what’s not. An example of this is the recent study that said Mammograms aren’t as necessary anymore. Remember that? That was a huge controversy. Everyone flipped out. If the Government believed that than Medicare and Medicaid were going to stop covering them and that was probably the plan. But it drew some unwanted attention to the issue and they backed off. But this is exactly what is going to happen with the public option and the Reform. They will decide and ALL insurance companies will have to follow their rules!

The Public Plan has the potential of being the MOST disastrous part of this whole process. If they are allowed to start their own plan well… well look at Medicare and Medicaid. Those plans are awful and poorly run. They have also been able to tell Dr’s and Hospitals how much they will pay and the Providers HAVE to accept it. 93% of Hospitals Margin (profit) comes from30% of the patients. Those are the patients insured by private insurance companies. So if everyone goes onto the government plan… What is going to happen to our Hospitals? We are going to become like Canada, care for everyone but no real access to care. Get ready to wait a year for an MRI. The House bill wants the government to run the plan. Luckily the Senate bill says there can be a government plan administered by the Private Insurance Companies. This might keep them from going out of business.

There was so much more information we were given, I can barely process it. But my belief is that this has the potential to destroy the free market. It will effect and destroy many lives. Insurance companies will fold; Brokers are going to be seriously effected. Plan costs are going to increase. Individual costs will occasionally go down but taxes will go up. This bill wants to cover everything but that is just not feasible.

Here are some more things I learned.
Senate bill: Penalties for not buying insurance
2014: $95 or 35% taxable income
2015: $495 or 1.0% taxable income
2016: $750 or 2.0% taxable income. Then it will be increased annually.

What right does the government have to demand that everyone buy health insurance? Now, I passionately believe that everyone should but… I feel they are slowly taking our decisions away from us.

One of the groups most devastatingly affected by this Reform are the Small Employers. This alone may bankrupt many of these struggling companies. Right now the minimum employer contribution for an employee is 50%. That seems like nothing to the employee but it is a ton to the employer. The new minimum employer contribution? 72.5% for an individual. And 65% for a family. –
Now to help everyone the government will provide subsidies. But only if you go through their channels. This will not help you if you go through your company.

This reform is going to cost almost 1 Trillion Dollars. A Trillion! Seriously?

They are going to have additional taxes to the following groups:
Insurance Companies (not the government plan I bet)
Pharmaceutical Manufactures
Medical Device manufacturers & importers
And a special 10% tax on tanning salons (I thought that one was kind of funny)
Also, some additional taxes on the Rich – Come on Rich people, let’s fight this thing down.

Currently 67% of the uninsured Utahns are at or below the Governments poverty level required for subsidies so they will go through the governments exchanges… what will that do to our local market?
At the end of this train wreck presentation we were told that of most of the Health Insurance Companies, Selecthealth, Kaiser and a few others are positioned to handle these changes pretty well. In fact we would welcome many of them. The Reform basically wants everyone covered for everything with now limits. We would love that to happen. But in order for that to work financially we would need EVERYONE insured, paying premiums. But the way it’s set up… that probably won’t happen

NO PUBLIC OPTIONS!

In summation, I believe that the National Healthcare Reform will destroy our Country. I just hope Jesus comes before then.

Plagerism at it's finest.

2009-12-28T16:31:00.001-08:00

Great Grandma Helen:

This is taken directly from my Sister Hilary's blog.

I have a scrapbook my Mom made me several years ago, filled with pictures going back a couple generations. I love looking at them, marvelling how much I look just like my Mom, how much my cousin Joey looks just like Grandpa, how much my Mom and I look like my Grandma, how there's this one picture of my Grandpa as a young teen that reminds me so much of my Uncle Jeff . . . et cetera, et cetera . . .There's one person throughout the pictures who captures my attention the most. My Great Grandma Helen, my Mom's Mom's Mom. :-) She just seems to have such an outgoing personality, so full of life and all that.
She's the toddler in this picture, standing next to her mother, Jennie, and her younger sibling Leslie (don't know if it's a boy or girl -- the dress doesn't tell you anything in pictures from this era, and neither does the name Leslie!)Isn't she just so cute -- like a mischievous elf or something?

This is Grandma Helen and her long time boyfriend of four years. Apparently he was a pretty angry drunk, and would regularly drink too much, get mad and leave town for awhile. Once after he left, a friend of Helen's approached her and said, "I know a nice fellow you could go out with . . ." Four months later she was married to Grandpa Movell.I like this picture, 'cause for some odd reason it reminds me of some movie set of some old western movie or something.

We have some great pictures of Grandma Helen just hanging out with friends, which I think is pretty cool, 'cause at a time when people weren't just walking around with point and shoot cameras, it feels very fortunate that we have like 30+ pictures of this woman. Here she is with an unnamed friend (she's on the right).

One of my favorites -- this is Grandma Helen (on the right again), with her sister in law Alda (who was married to Grandpa Movell's brother Cloy -- and yes, those people should've lost the right to name their own children) :-) Sassy, right? :-)

These next three are from Movell & Helen's honeymoon.Behind them is the new car they bought for $900.00.

Here she is on her honeymoon, sporting a cool tie and tall boots. I'm curious where they went on their honeymoon . . .

Here she is riding on Movell's shoulders. It stands to reasons that honeymooners throughout the ages have been fairly jovial and carefree -- but how often do you see old black and white pictures of new brides on their husband's shoulders like this?

Here they are sometime after getting married.

Grandma Helen, their baby (my Great Aunt Zan), my Grandma Kay, and Grandpa Movell.

You can't see it quite as much in that last picture, but in this picture it is crystal clear where my Mom comes from -- she is the spitting image of my Grandma Kay (left, top corner).

So anyway, those are pictures of my Great Grandma Helen. Neither her or my Great Grandma Movell lived very long, both dying before even my own mother was born. (He died around the age of 45, she died around 49.) Helen was born in 1906 in Lindon, Utah, the oldest of six children (two passed away in childhood). Her father Frank left when she was young to serve an LDS mission, but suffered a ruptured appendix and came home early. They moved to Salt Lake City, while her father worked as a street car conductor, until there was an accident on one of the cars one day, and he was very badly hurt, having to have a steel plate put into his head. His hearing was ruined, and he could no longer work on the street cars, so they moved to Standardville (I have NO idea where that is) where they ran a boarding house. Helen worked as a teenager in the local ice cream parlor, as well as pumping the player piano at the silent movies on Saturday nights. She was known to be quite beautiful and had "many beaus" (as one of her written histories records). Her soon to be husband, Movell, was working as a coal miner and met her right after she'd broken up with her old fiancee (the mean drunk one). They were married by the Justice of the Peace in Price, UT and ended up living there for a few years until they moved to Salt Lake where they both went to school -- him to become a barber, her to become a beautician. Grandma Helen stayed home with her baby (my Grandma Kay), and Grandpa Movell worked at his barbershop -- where he ended up being converted to the LDS Church by some of his customers, and the two of them were eventually sealed in the Salt Lake Temple in March of 1941.While raising her kids she was known as an immaculate housekeeper (a gene my Mom got, and I did not). She loved to sew, (another gene that my Mom got and I didn't) and would look at dresses in stores, then come home and make a perfect replica. She was barely 5'2", and everyone called her "Little Helen" (yet another gene that alluded me). In 1950, her and her husband built a double business building where she had her beauty shop and he ran his barbershop, and she loved going to work each day with him. Unfortunately, Grandpa died when he was only 45, and she spent a few years spending time with her daughters' and their fledgling families, but just a few years later she was diagnosed with cancer, and with her youngest daughter (who'd moved back home to take care of her while sick) and her own parents living in her home, she passed away. My own Grandma would've only been about 23 years old when she lost her second parent, and my own Mom never knew her mother's parents. It's one of those things that makes me feel amazingly blessed that my girls know all four of their grandparents, and have spent time and holidays and Sunday visits with 5 of their 8 great grandparents.Oh, and semi-related . . . Grandma Helen's great Grandma (so my great, great, great, great Grandma) was named Sophia -- it's where we got Ellie's middle name. Greg and I joke that we had to go back that far to find a usable name -- but seriously, just on my side of the family we have family names like Sophia's own husband, Spicer, her daughter, Irinda, not to mention names like: Movell, Cloy, Cordelia, Sophronia, Belva, Olive, Petronella, Ingeborg (that's a woman), Gunhild (also a woman), my own Grandpa's name is Pennell (and his twin brother's name is Parnell). Then there's mine and Greg's favorite names -- the couple who probably got married 'cause they'd found another person who understood the pain of being unfortunately named: Wilmurth LaMaude and Mahonri Moriancumer. Poor Greg and I had to poor over decades worth of family names to before finding a middle name for Ellie :-)

Star Again,

I thought this was such a great story about my Great Grandma. This Christmas I was given a Silver Dollar from the 1920's that belonged to my Great Grandpa Movell and Great Grandma Helen. It was my favorite Christmas present.

Annie's First Dance Recital

2009-12-20T14:51:00.000-08:00

Saturday was Annie's first Dance Recital. And like champs the whole of the Christensen family made the long trek out to Riverton High School. As soon as I arrived I knew I was in for an experiance. The parking lot was full. I had to park out on the street somewhere. The entire Auditorium was full! Just how long was this dance recital going to go for?

As soon as the lights went down we began our fight for the only grandchild left to us, Ellie. We tried to be patient as we waited our turn to hold and play with her while the endless parade of children performed. Annie's Dance was number 19 of 21. My dad put his headphones in during the first song and looked to be out for the rest of the show.

Around song 7 Ellie fell asleep in my arms and I was the happiest of the aunts.

One of the songs performed was Rolly Pollie the Polar Bear. This brought much delight and happiness to my family. Talina once danced to this song and Lacy had changed the words and would sing, "Rolly Pollie the Polar Bear, it's cold out there but it's not my problem." The real song ends with "it's cold out there but he doesn't care"

In preperation for her recital, Aunt Lacy defused her curls, and she got to wear makeup. Genetically my families genes seem to take over, but luckily for Annie, she seems to have gotten Greg's long eyelashes.

Then, finally, it was Annie's turn. And she did not disappoint. She was adorable. As the shortest member of her dance team (troop, squad?) she seemed to be one of the better dancers. Her song was called "Ellie the Elf" which made it more fun for cute little Ellie.

See, Look how short she looks here. It doesn't help that she's next to that tall girl, and that the tall girl appears to be levitating. Thus emphasizing Annie Shortness.

The Best Show You're Not Watching; Part 1

2009-12-17T13:22:00.000-08:00

The next few blog posts are dedicated to the many shows I have loved and lost of the years. They are some of the greatest things that Hollywood has given us but due to a lack of fan base (due to a plethora of reasons, mostly poor time placement and advertising) have been canceled, or will be canceled.

The first of these is Firefly. Firefly lasted for 13 episodes and then was unceremoniously cancelled. Boo! Boo to Fox! They should have given it a better time slot, or more advertising. It was definitely one of the greatest shows on TV.

Firefly was an American space western television series. It was awesome. A future based on the lives of people who fought on the losing side of a civil war and are now trying to make their way on the outskirts of society. The only surviving culture is that of a combined American/Chinese super fusion. It’s fun, and I believe they get away with lots of swearing because they are doing it in Chinese.

Captain Malcom Reynolds – He is, well, the Captain of Serenity. He fought on the losing side of the War and there are not words to describe him.

While giving a pep talk to a fellow soldier in a flashback of the war. "We're not gonna die. We can't die, Bendis. You know why? Because we are so...very...pretty. We are just too pretty for God to let us die."

Bandit #1: "And I think maybe you're gonna give me a little one-on-one time with the missus." (Husband) Jayne: "Oh, I think you might wanna reconsider that last part. See, I married me a powerful ugly creature." (Wife) Mal: "How can you say that? How can you shame me in front of new people?" (Husband) Jayne: "If I could make you purtier, I would." (Wife) Mal: "You are not the man I met a year ago." (they suddenly draw their guns on the bandits, Mal slowly pulling his bonnet off) Mal: "Now think real hard. You been bird-dogging this township a while now. They wouldn't mind a corpse of you. Now you can luxuriate in a nice jail cell, but if your hand touches metal, I swear by my pretty floral bonnet: I will end you."

Zoe Alleyne Washburne is second-in-command onboard Serenity, a loyal wartime friend of Captain Reynolds, and the wife of Wash. She is a bit of a warrior women, and has a talent for understating things.

Mal: "Well, you were right about this being a bad idea."Zoe: "Thanks for sayin', sir."

(Zoe, Mal, and Jayne are backed up against the edge of a cliff by a bunch of drunken brawlers)
Mal: "There's just an acre of you fellas, ain't there?" (to Zoe) "This is why we lost, you know. Superior numbers."
Zoe: "Thanks for the re-enactment, sir."

Alliance Commander: "You fought with Captain Reynolds in the war?"
Zoe: "Fought with a lot of people in the war."
Alliance Commander: "And your husband?"
Zoe: "Fight with him sometimes, too."

Hoban "Wash" Washburne is Serenity's pilot and Zoe's husband. I think he's my favorite character.

Wash: "Everything looks good from here... (beat...playing with plastic dinosaurs over his console) Yes. Yes, this is a fertile land, and we will thrive."
(as Stegosaurus) "We will rule over all this land, and we will call it... 'This Land'."
(as T-Rex) "I think we should call it...your grave!"
(Stegosaurus) "Ah, curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!"
(T-Rex) "Ha ha HA! Mine is an evil laugh...now die!"

Inarra Serra is a Companion, which is the 26th century equivalent of a courtesan. They are super well respected, but truthfully she's a prostitute. A high class one... and the love/hate interest for Mal.

Inarra: What did I say to you about barging in to my shuttle?

Mal: That it was manly and impulsive?

Inara: Yes, precisely. Only the exact phrase I used was "don't."

Inarra: So, explain to me again why Zoe wasn't in the dress?

Mal: Tactics, woman. Needed her in the back. 'Sides, those soft cotton dresses feel kinda nice. It's the whole... air-flow.

Inara: And you'd know that because...?

Mal: You can't open the book of my life and jump in the middle. Like woman, I'm a mystery. Inara: Let's keep it that way. I withdraw the question.

Jayne Cobb is hired muscle. He is hilarious.

Jayne: "Do you know what the chain of command is here? It's the chain I go get and beat you with to show you who's in command."

Kaywinnit Lee "Kaylee" Frye is the ship's mechanic

Mal: "I don't believe there's a power in the 'verse that can stop Kaylee from being cheerful." (he smiles at her, never stopping working) "Sometimes you just wanna duct tape her mouth and dump her in the hold for a month."

Kaylee: "Everybody's got somebody..." (wistfully) "Wash, tell me I'm pretty..."
Wash: "Were I unwed, I would take you in a manly fashion."
Kaylee: " 'Cause I'm pretty?"
Wash: " 'Cause you're pretty."
Kaylee: "Thank you. That was very restorative."

Dr. Simon Tam is a medical researcher and trauma surgeon of the first caliber (top 3% in his class at a top core-planet institution), who is on the run after breaking his sister River out of a government research facility

Book: "Yes, I'd forgotten you're moonlighting as a criminal mastermind now. Got your next heist planned?"
Simon: "No. But I'm thinking about growing a big black mustache. I'm a traditionalist."

River Tam was smuggled onto the ship by her brother. River was a child prodigy of unparalleled genius, but she was experimented upon at the hands of Alliance doctors, leaving her delusional, erratic, and at times violent

River: "Also? I can kill you with my brain."

Derrial Book is a Shepherd (equivalent to a pastor). Although presented as a devout Christian man, Book demonstrates a depth of knowledge about the activities of criminals and corrupt police

Book: "I am a Shepherd. Folks like a man of God."
Mal: "No, they don't. Men of God make everyone feel guilty and judged."
Zoe: "Preacher, don't the Bible have some pretty specific things to say about killing?
Book: "Quite specific. It is, however, somewhat fuzzier on the subject of kneecaps."

After it's short life as a TV Series in 2005 they completed the story with the movie Serenity.

"Good morning...I see the assassins have failed."

2009-12-01T10:49:00.000-08:00

So lately I have been really pleased with my Facebook Status updates. So I thought I would compile my favorites and store them here on my blog for my posterity.

It would only let me go back as far as September 4, 2009. So if I had any other funny ones… they are lost forever.

Star Christensen 's how To Be a Hero tip #14: When destroying the enemy be sure to kill all the criminals in reverse order of importance before confronting the kingpin himself

Have you ever had a fly or small bug land on your computer screen and your first reaction is to try and scare it with the cursor?

People think I'm too patronizing (that means I treat them as if they're stupid).

I got out of jury duty by prefacing every answer with "according to the prophecy"

Star Christensen used to play sports. Then she realized you can buy trophies. Now she's good at everything.

I'm good at tolerating pain and I'm bad at math...

Do know what really makes me smile? Facial muscles.

I’m like Costco. I’m big, I’m not fancy, and I dare you to not like me.

I can't remember being born, but my mom assures me that I was.

"Clothes don't make the man, God does. Stop taking credit, my pants"

You can't take it with you but you can lick it so that no one else takes it when you're gone

If you can't beat them, join them. Then beat them. They'll never see it coming.

Sometimes I worry that my greatest accomplishment in life has been finding waldo.

I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without drinking water

Star Christensen suffers from Anatidaephobia -- the fear that somewhere, somehow, a duck is watching you.

Star Christensen thinks it's strange that facebook wants her to tattoo her profile because it's naked. I don't really think tattoos are a good way to cover nakedness... clothes tend to work better. Facebook should try to sell me clothes for my naked profile.

Star Christensen says that there are over 400 stars in our galaxy, maybe more. No one knows for sure. Many have said that the universe is even larger than the Indian Ocean. And that is why it is called Infinitum Staroctapusim
Star Christensen hated it when old aunts used to come up to her at weddings, poke her in the ribs and cackle, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals

Star Christensen succeeded in not slipping on the wet floor, but still managed to trip over the caution sign

Star Christensen says that you can't believe everything you read on the internet. That's how World War 1 got started.

Star Christensen says that we are not the only ones who destroy trees. What about beavers? If you are going to call yourself an environmentalist then why don't you go out and club some beavers

Star Christensen was thinking about the expression 'revenge is a dish best served cold'. Then I considered that 'revenge is sweet'. I've come to the conclusion that revenge is ice cream.

Star Christensen says "Give me ambiguity or give me something else."

Follow your dreams, except for that one where you're naked at work

Star Christensen thinks its OK to beat up an old lady, if it’s at Costco, or if she really had it coming.

Star Christensen is a lover not a fighter, but she's also a fighter so don't get any ideas.

You know what makes humans different from other animals? We are the only species on earth that observes Shark Week… Sharks don’t even observe shark week, But we do.

My computer just beat me at chess...but it was no match for me at kick boxing

Star Christensen is wishing that she could throw magic dust on her problems and make them disappear! Kind of like a wizard...or a crack addict

Star Christensen feels like getting some work done...and so she is sitting down until the feeling passes

I realized that if I save my word documents as "the world, Star", the computer will ask me "Would you like to save the changes you made to the world, Star?". I stroked my white kitten who was asleep on my lap and cackled evilly. Why yes, yes I would

I beat my previous record for number of consecutive days spent alive today. I'm going for a new personal best tomorrow.

I found out that Waldo is known by different names in different countries. Wally in Britain, Charlie in France, Holger in Denmark, Walter in Germany, and Willy in Norway. I'm onto you and your multiple identities Waldo. You can't hide forever.

Star Christensen 's genius has come alive, like toys when your back is turned.

Star Christensen wonders how much it would cost to get Morgan Freeman to narrate her life

The pilot would like to thank you for keeping the plane snake free"

I can’t take credit for all of them, oh wait. Yes I can. And no one can stop me. Mwa ha ha ha ha ha

When did I become so thoughtful?

2009-11-28T18:59:00.000-08:00

I was doing my laundry the other day. I had a (almost) full load of whites and a (almost) full load of darks. I like it when my laundry works out this way because I can dry the two (almost) loads in one dry cycle. (Seeing that I have to pay a buck for the washer and another buck for the dryer, this is a delightful circumstance.)

I started with my whites. When it came time to add the detergent I carelessly filled my detergent measuring cup completely full and threw it in all willy-nilly. Not until after I'd poured it in did I realize that I probably only needed to add half that amount. Oh well.

When it came time to start my darks I stood over the washer and debated how unfair it would be to only give half a cup of detergent to the second load. Both were the same size. So I poured in another full cup to the second load. Happy that I had been fair to ALL my dirty clothes. None of them got special treatment.

All my Excuses.

2009-11-20T23:01:00.000-08:00

I got that tunnel vision that girls get. I let my emotions get the best of me. I cared too much, I guess. I was thinking with my lady parts. I was walking and it felt icky. I thought there was gonna be chocolate. I don't even remember! I'm wearing a new bra, and it closes in the front, so it popped open and it threw me off. All I wanna do is have babies! I'm just going through a thing right now. I guess when my life is incomplete, I wanna just shoot someone. I'm good at tolerating pain; I'm bad at math.

Okay, so this is a quote off of Parks and Recreations. Leslie was taking credit for shooting her boss Ron in the head with a bird gun (cheney style) She was trying to give the "sexist" cop excuses. I thought it was hilarious.

Late 20's

2009-11-17T08:22:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday to me!

So some of you have probably heard all about my many age scales I have created. The first one ranks your 20's.

20 - 24 years old are considered your early 20's
25 years old is considered your mid 20's
26 years old is considered your mid to late 20's
27 to 29 years old are considered your late 20's
I don't want to even consider what 30+ will be

I'm in my late 20's... uggghhh

The other scale I use is the single mormon girl to normal single girl ratios. This is a very complicated system and would be too difficult to describe on a blog but... As a utah single mormon girl I am now 37 years old. If I was just a single mormon girl (not from utah) I would be 34 years old. If you would like to know your real mormon single girl age just send me an email.

Really, I was kind of underwhelmed by my Birthday this year. Not all that excited. It used to be that I would celebrate my birthday for the entire month of November. In High School I even created a National Holiday that coincided with my Birth. National Aardvaark Day. What a great time that was.

I did have a lot of fun on my birthday this year though. My ward held a 5k for Sub 4 Santa. I believe that it was also held in my honor. They sang Happy Birthday too me and everything. We were supposed to dress up in Holiday attire, I didn't have anything like that so I, of course, wore a batman shirt.

Then it blizzarded in honor of my birthday.

Then my friends and I went to letherbys. It was magical.

Oh, and here is the cake Jeddah ordered for our shared birthday.

Ice Age Princesses

2009-11-14T17:53:00.001-08:00

This year for my birthday I decided I wanted to take Annie to Disney Princess' on Ice. Just a Aunt and Niece night out. I was so excited to get to spend time with Annie.
I arrived at her house at about 5pm to find lying on the floor crying because she had lost her bow. She was quite distraught about it. I started feeling a little concerned about how our night out was going to go.
As soon as I got her all strapped into her carseat she was happy as a clam on prozac. We went to Chik-fil-a for dinner. I tried to remember what Hilary orders for her. I ended up getting her a four pack chicken nugget with fruit. Pretty healthy so far. When thye asked me what she wanted to drink I looked at the Soda Pop and figured that probably wasn't a good thing so I ordered her the hi-c. It wasn't until Annie took a sip and exclaimed how delicious it was that I remembered Hilary alwyas gets her mild. uh oh. She loved it and said it tasted just like pink.
At one point my cell phone went off and I asked her what that sound was. She looked and me and said, "it sounded very similar to my mom's phone" "Really, it sounded similar?" I chuckled. "Yes, it had a very similar sound." She is such a little genius.
Then we were off to the show. Annie chattered away the entire drive about her sister, her school, her friends... and one point she ranked her friends by height, age and how nice they were. It was fascinating to learn the inner workings of her preschool network.

Once we arrived Annie was in awe of all the girls dressed up as princesses. We had fun trying to find all the Princess Auroras. Annie wore a cute princess shirt, with a pink sweater and a yellow princess jacket. I, luckily, had the forsight to have Hilary pack a princess dress for Annie in her purse. As soon as we were inside Annie was ready to put it on. She looked so adorable.
Waiting for the show to start Annie was the picture of a pefectly behaved child. One lady actually asked me how I got her to behave that way. I just looked at Annie with a look of bewiderment and replied that I had no idea.
Altough I had paid for Annie's seat I made her sit on my lap so I could gage her every reaction to the Princess'. She would sing along to every song! And after each princess she would recant the order in which they all appeared. She has a very good memory.
When we left the show it was begginning to snow. I wrapped my scarf around Annie's head and she looked so adorable. And we giggled the entire way back to the car.
On the ride home she chattered non stop about the mean people in the show. And how she liked Gaston but didn't like the things he did. He was mean, so he had to disappear. (glad to know she missed the whole falling to his death thing)
It was the greatest night!

The Colbert Report

2009-11-12T08:02:00.000-08:00

I was watching The Colbert Report last night and had forgotten how much I loved that show. Seriously. I consider the man a genius. One of my favorite rants he has ever done was after the last major election. I thought I would share it here... to store it for my posterity. This being my online journal and all.

"And don't think you're off the hook, voters, you're the ones who made this bed. Now you're the ones who are going to have to move over so a gay couple can sleep in it. Tomorrow you're all going to wake up in a brave new world, a world where the Constitution gets trampled by an army of terrorist clones, created in a stem-cell research lab run by homosexual doctors who sterilize their instruments over burning American flags. Where tax-and-spend Democrats take all your hard-earned money and use it to buy electric cars for National Public Radio, and teach evolution to illegal immigrants. Oh, and everybody's high! You know what, I've had it! You people don't deserve a Republican majority! I quit!"

And just some more wonderfulness from my hero.

"I believe that the government that governs best is a government that governs least, and by these standards we have set up a fabulous government in Iraq."

"I can't prove it, but I can say it"

"As God said to Job, Checkmate"

"Clothes don't make the man, God does. Stop taking credit, my pants"

"Going to church. It’s my favorite part of being a believer. On a typical Sunday Morning while some people are enjoying brunch or enjoying a good tee time, I sit in church imagining them chained to a burning lake of unquenchable fire. You know it makes even the dullest sermon fly by."

"New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd has published a new book, "Are Men Necessary?" a series of essays defending her inability to get a date. Yes Maureen, men are necessary. As long as there are spiders to be killed, and jars of spaghetti sauce to be opened."

Expectations

2009-10-23T17:08:00.003-07:00

Candy Wagon

2009-10-22T20:56:00.000-07:00

I have either fallen off of, or onto the Candy Wagon. I gave up Candy... what a week ago? if that. And I had a bad day so I self-medicated...with a delicious mint truffle bar, that may or may not have been bought for one of my sisters. Then I went to Hale Theater with Hilary. She provided me with mini-m&m's. They were incredible.

Starting tomorrow I am back on or off of the Candy Wagon through the end of October... also, I'm giving up peanut butter for awhile. That's right reader, delicious, crunchy, amazing peanutbutter. I have recently fallen in love with dipping apple slices into it... but I think my portions must be out of control because although I haven't eaten candy I still managed to gain a pound. Stupid.

I think I have Mono.

2009-10-19T13:09:00.000-07:00

I have a tendency to self diagnose myself. I have found this to be cost effective and time saving. For example, when I got the Swine Flu, I didn't have to go to a Dr and have him confirm what I already knew. And there is no treatment for Swine Flu so look at that... saved time and money. Of course the down side is that I can't really confirm that I had the Swine Flu but... I'm pretty sure I did.

Well, I have self-diagnosed myself yet again. But let me start at the beginning. Two weeks ago I started feeling lethargic and tired. After a week like that I decided it was my diet so I cut out candy. That has been an adventure in and of itself. I'm still holding strong though. But a week later I am still lethargic and tired. I can barley drag myself out of bed. This is very unlike me. I usually get right up when I need to, I never ever even use the snooze button on my alarm clock. I can barely make it through my "10 minute" morning workouts, and I woke up with a sore throat this morning. My diagnosis? Mono. which means theirs nothing the Dr's can do so...

The Challenge

2009-10-12T15:36:00.000-07:00

I've decided to give up Candy for the remaining weeks of October. I realize that this is a very inopportune time to give up candy what with it being the candy month of the year. But that's the fun of this challenge. I have also decided to keep the pieces of candy that I am givin - and see how much it is. Of course at the end of the month I haven't decided whether to binge on it or...

Anyways, All keep you updated on how it goes. And... Please don't offer me candy for the next 2 1/2 weeks.

Learned to create Manuals in Word

2009-09-29T12:18:00.000-07:00

Utah State Fair

2009-09-24T16:46:00.001-07:00

So I came home with two things from the State Fair. A salsa maker and a Living Scriptures movie.

The Salsa Maker. In a word; it is AWESOME.

It chops of onions with no problems, no tears, and

almost no time. The guy demoing it showed us that it will chop up potatoes… I’m so making home made hashbrowns!

The Living Scriptures Movie… Now that was an experience. The guy stopped Talina and me and offered us a free movie if we listened to his 5 minute spiel. We agreed (mainly because I LOVE those Living Scriptures Movies, and I’ve been meaning to start my collection).

We sat down and he began to ask us a series of normal questions, somehow though he made them awkward.

“So, are you ladies married or dating?”
“I’m married” replies Talina. “Dating” says I.
“Good for you guys!”
“umm… Thanks.”
“How long have you been dating?”
“Since I was 16?”
“Good, Good for you!”

That was just during the introduction… The why we might want the videos got worse.
“Do you have kids?”
“No” Talina responds.
“How long have you been married?”
“4 years”
“Good for you.”

WHAT?! What does mean? Talina and I exchanged incredulous looks. Why exactly was it good for her? Something in his voice made the comment extra strange. Good for you for not rushing to have kids? Or something else? Talina later disclosed that she was tempted to break into tears and say they’d been trying for 3 years… Now, Talina hasn’t been trying. They have a very great family plan but… he doesn’t know that. It was just strange.

But the craziest part was how much those videos cost. Go ahead guess. $20? That’s what I guessed. Nope. $30. That’s insane! And there are like 100 of these videos… they can set you up on payment plans but… that is so much money! What is even more shocking is that growing up, my family owned almost everyone of them and the price has NEVER changed. Meaning my Mom spent $30 per movie in the ‘80’s. I’m willing to bet my dad didn’t know about that. But I am grateful for it. I think that nothing could have taught me the bible and BOM stories better than those videos did.

I’m going to have to start a special savings account to buy those videos…

And finally, here I am with my sister Hilary and my nieces. We are so cute!

Too Soon...

2009-09-22T14:54:00.000-07:00

I am not ready for the world of online dating. Attempt to delete my profiles initiated.

SWF

2009-09-16T21:57:00.000-07:00

My morning routine is mostly the same, I wake up (always, well… so far), I exercise (sometimes) I shower (always, you’re welcome people I socialize with). And then I sit on my bedroom floor and do my hair. I am not a “do your hair and makeup in the bathroom” type of person. Mainly because the bathroom is small and has no TV.

I will often watch one of three different things in the morning. 1) Channel 5 news. I’m not sure why Channel 5, it may or may not have something to do with the High Five they do, that occasionally makes me cry (ruining my newly applied make-up). For those of you who don’t watch Channel 5 news, the High 5 is where they recognize good people from the community.

Anyway…
Or I watch MASH on TV Land. Such a great show. But it’s not on every morning, so sometimes I resort to DVD’s of my favorite TV Shows like 30 Rock (Season 2, It’s the only one I own) or Arrested Development.

The reason for this lengthy explanation of my morning routine actually has a point. And here it is. Have you ever noticed that the ONLY commercial on at 6:00 am is for eHarmony? Well, lately, I have noticed.

As every Single LDS Girl over the age of 25 has, I have pondered the possibility of online Dating. I have several friends that have had great experiences with it as of late and I thought,

"Hey maybe I should give that a try." Then I thought. “Nope, that’s ridiculous I hate online communication that is not Facebook.”

“Wait, maybe Facebook could start lining me up with people.”

“Facebook isn’t a magical dating service Star, don’t be ridiculous. Just try eHarmony”.

And on and on went my crazy conversation with myself. This debate has lasted quite awhile (I even made reference to it in my “Why I am actually an 82 year old Woman” Post.

Well, Tonight, I caved. Kind of.

I went to eHarmony and filled out their free personality profile. I really liked their assessment of my personality. It was pretty flattering. They split it into 5 categories. Agreeableness, Openness, Emotional Stability, Conscientiousness and Extraversion. According to EHarmony I am well-rounded and overall pretty awesome. They did say that my awesomeness may not go over so well with some people. (Don’t I know it) They sent me potential matches. Some were promising, others frightened me a little. And they asked me really obnoxious questions that I didn’t know how to answer. Like…

What are you passionate about? Ummm... Cheese? The Office? Instead I put this nonsense…

Traveling, Volleyball, Family, Faith, The Beach, Raspberries, Boating, Reading, video/computer/arcade games that allow me to shoot things like Time Crisis 3. But not Halo, I'm sorry, but I am horrible at that game, I like the games were they give me an actual pretend gun.

What are three things for which you are MOST grateful?

1. My Family! They have been one of the biggest influences in my life. Also, they are hilarious.
2. My Religion! It has made me who I am. It has given me opportunities and experiences that I would have never had otherwise. It has helped me to understand happiness. It has given me hope. It has given me answers.
3. Humor! I LOVE to laugh. I am thankful for Observational Humor, Satire, Slapstick, practical jokes, parodies and banter. However, I am not grateful for puns.

And the hardest of all… What is the ONE thing that people don’t notice about you right away that you WISH they WOULD?

How do you answer that? That I would be an awesome girlfriend? That I have over 500 Facebook friends? (No, I probably don’t want to go with that) I had no idea what to put… So I put this;

My almost super human ability to find Waldo

I am not kidding. That’s what I put.

So I have put in all my personal information… Now for a picture.

I used this one

I want to add more but they all include other people and I don’t think they want to be on my online dating page. I wanted to put a full body shot so that there would be no surprises but the only one I liked was this one

And I think that is just not the message I want to be sending.

I haven’t actually signed paid for eHarmony yet. (Not sure if I will) I’m not sure what I really want. I would like to start dating more (And by more… I mean at all) but this isn’t the way I wanted to do it. I just want someone I may already know to realize how funny, cute, adorable, smart, spiritual, etc… I am and ask me on a date! Really, not anyone specific... just someone.

So Readers… What do you think of this nonsense?

The Curse

2009-09-05T18:16:00.001-07:00

Anyone familiar with the book/movie Holes will know that if you forget to carry Madam Zeroni up the Mountain that she will curse you and your family with very bad luck.

Well I believe that my dear friend Jeddah’s ancestors did something quite similar to that. Jeddah’s great great great grandfather, Jedadiah Obadiah Springfield Carrell stole a horse from Madam Zeroni and she cursed the Carrell family with years of first horse trouble, than carriage and wagon trouble and ultimately car trouble. Jeddah had been cursed all her driving years with horrible luck with cars. It seemed that she always got the worse lemons possible. Until one magical day Jeddah must have done something to break this curse. With only limited car trouble now she more fully enjoys life. Unfortunately… Her curse wasn’t truly broken, but somehow transferred to the poor, unsuspecting, beautiful Star. Never really having too much car trouble she was quite blissfully happy until that fateful day when Jeddah Luck changed and transferred onto Star.

My car has been such a pill this year. I can’t complain too much though… It makes others angry with me. But I will. I will complain. I have invested thousands of dollars into my car this year to fix seemingly endless problems. In January I had to shell out over $2000 to different mechanics when my engine block finally busted, along with many other issues. I was assured that once all those things were fixed that it would all be smooth sailing.
A few months later my air conditioning went out. Unacceptable. For those of you who know me personally you will know that this is the absolutely worse thing in the world. My normal body temp ranges in about the 102 – 104 degree range. I am ALWAYS HOT! My family responds to this constant complaint with a resounding “Stop Bragging” But I am so for my air conditioning to go out well that’s just torture.

But with the aid of some wonderful Uncles and Wasatch Auto Body Shop I had a loner car and a new air conditioner. (The Auto Body Shop found me the part and the Ford dealership put it in)
Yay… My car was working. For about a week. Than it threw a belt. I lost power steering making it a bugger to turn into my parking spot. My Parents came to my rescue and my dad put the belt back on. Only to discover that on of the wheely pully thingy was bent, which caused the car to throw the belt. Luckily Wasatch Auto Body Shop saved me again and gave me a loaner. We’ll be taking it back to the dealership for them to fix.

If anyone knows how I can break the Carrell curse. Please let me know.

Why I am actually an 82 year old Women…

2009-09-02T12:39:00.001-07:00

So… I’m an old lady.

I’ll be the very first to tell you that. I don’t mean my physical age… it’s purely mental. When I was a teenager, I found my friends childish antics… well childish. Seriously. I don’t know how many of them would have made it into adulthood without my constant nagging to not play in the street and to not try to get rides with strangers.
Peer Pressure never really affected me. I never feared what my peers thought of me. I was to busy mothering them. Or judging them… depending on what was more appropriate at the time. The first beer I was offered was promptly thrown over a balcony and they all got a stern lecture on the dangers of underage drinking and the stupidity of their decision making abilities.
I was almost always the driver amongst my friends. Not because I was the only one with a car, on the contrary, most of them had cars, nicer cars than the one my parents let me drive. But because I didn’t trust them. Bunch of young whipper snappers, always playing games, and yelling in the car. Don’t get me started on how loud their music was. It’s ridiculous and I would always insist it be turned down to a reasonable level. I wouldn’t start driving until all of their seat belts were on.
So as a teenager I was actually a middle aged woman… Now that I’m in my (ahem) late 20’s I am a full blown geriatric. My Peers still drive too fast, and don’t wear their seatbelts enough. Music is still too loud. Loud noises startle me. I am in bed by 10pm almost every night. Even on the weekends. When my friends announce their Party starts at 9, I respond with a confused and shocked “at night?!” Why would you start that late? This means I’m going to be up at least a few hours past my bed time. I eat dinner between 4 and 5pm. Yep… That’s right. And I love it.
I HATE almost all forms of electronic communication. Although recently I have learned to text and am getting much better at it… I still cringe inside when my phone makes any noises. Especially the ringing ones. I feel we are too accessible as a society. (This may not be an old person feeling, just my own quirkiness) I don’t like IMing. Lots of people have been encouraging me to try online dating (Because I have reached full blown Mormon spinsterhood and am almost past hope off ever finding a man all because I am single, Mormon and 27) I would never be able to date online. I hate all of the steps of it. Messaging each other, than the phone calls (seriously, I hate talking on the phone, although… a sure sign that I really like a boy is if I can talk to him on the phone for long periods of time) and then finally the meeting. That part might be okay I prefer face to face interaction. Even at work if I have a question for someone I am more likely to climb 4 flights of stairs (that’s a lie, I’m an old lady, I’ll take the elevator) and ask them that question at their desk.
I save and hoard EVERYTHING. So I haven’t used that thing taking up space in my closet ever but maybe one day I’m going to need it. I can’t get rid of it.
I do not like High Heels. I find them ridiculous and unnecessary. Wear comfortable, flat shoes for heavens sakes. I don’t care if they’re not cute; no one looks at your shoes anyway. (This is apparently completely untrue; everyone tends to notice my shoes now. And I hate it. This part of my personality is stifled when I have a crush. If that is the case I will often stop using my comfortable shoes and put on a pair of beginner or intermediate heels)
So to sum up… I’m old.
Don’t call me after 9:00pm, it’s rude. *unless it’s an emergency… or your asking me out on a date… preferably to watch TV… which needs to be turned up pretty loud because I have a hard time hearing the TV.

**It was later pointed out to me that I also shush people. A lot. I am loud and obnoxious but generally know when it's time to be quiet.

This Day Neared Perfection

2009-07-22T09:01:00.000-07:00

On Wednesday, July 15, 2009 my day neared perfection.

I did have to work but luckily I love my job so... it in now way took away from my great day. In fact, Selecthealth had a 3 on 3 basketball tournament that I was very invested in. I have never before truly understood why people enjoy watching sports. I get going to games and being part of the excitement but I have never been invested in who won. If someone does something impressive, I cheer for them, regardless of who the play for. But I found myself rooting for the "Newbies" a group of guys from the New Hire Class that I'm training. Let's just say that they were robbed and I was pissed. But I was thrilled to be pissed because I finally get why people love the competition.

After work, a few of my co-workers and I went to the Oquirrh Mountain Temple Open House. It was beautiful. And I was thrilled to discover that this temples theme seems to be Stars. They had stars on the windows and the chandeliers were in the shape of stars. It was beautiful.

After the temple we went to one of my favorite places.... Chik Fil A. Words cannot express my love for that fast food establishment. I am seriously considering having them cater my wedding.

We ended the night by watching the new Harry Potter (6 I think). It was great. And I got very scared. So scared in fact that I slapped myself in the face trying to cover my eyes. That was kind of funny. Brittainy kicked the guy in front of her.

And... I bought Honey Roasted Almonds. Love those!

Star - You've Been Hacked

2009-07-21T14:56:00.000-07:00

Love, Hilary
(your favorite oldest sister)

Oh the Silliness!

2009-07-21T07:00:00.000-07:00

Ever wonder how you allow yourself to be talked into some things?

Kirstinme
Hilary

Gianne

I was by far the least enthusiastic about this photo shoot

Day 3 & 4

2009-07-20T08:03:00.000-07:00

Days 3 and 4 of my vacation can be summed up with one word, magical. It consisted of some of my all time favorite things and combined them into a cornucopia of splendor. We went to the beach. That's about it. On the beach we sat in beach chairs with our toes in the sand and read. I read two books in two days. The first was a silly book called Austenland. It was about a woman obsessed with Jane Austen. It was silly, but such a fun, relaxing read.

The second book was stupid and I can't even try to recap it for you because I disliked the ending so immensely that it changed in my head and has a way cooler ending now. But despite the idiotic ending of the second book those two days were near perfection. I got a lovely tan. My poor friend burnt herself to a crisp. I went boogie boarding (one of my all-time favorite things). At one point the waves were getting very big. I tried to catch a very big wave and was way off on my timing. It crashed right on top of my back. (it felt like someone hit me with a 2x4) I didn't think it was too bad until my friend informed me that most of the beach was witness to my beating and let out an unanimous "ohhhh!"

On the fourth of July we had planned to go the the San Diego County Fair. But we soon realized that parking alone would take hours and we didn't want to pay $20 to go to what looked like Lagoon (we already have season passes there) So we went to a beach right across the street. It had a very beautiful view. It had cliffs, we saw dolphins, and we ended the evening with sitting on the beach and watching the fireworks. It was awesome!

All in all it was a very wonderful and relaxing vacation.

Day 2

2009-07-08T07:07:00.000-07:00

After our Wild and Crazy adventure in Vegas we slept in a bit the next day. Checked out of our Hotel at a respectable 10am and found an IHOP. It was good.

We then drove to San Diego. Good times in deed.

Once we'd checked into our Hotel we headed to Old Town San Diego

I decided against including any pictures of me this day... I looked ridiculous.

We walked around all the cute little shops. I bought a very adorable bracelet with little "virgin de Guadalupe's" on it.

When deciding where we would eat... We just walked down the rode and literally picked the little Mexican Restaurant that smelled the best. Seriously, I don't think I have ever smelt anything as delicious as Cafe Coyote. It was amazing. I am literally drooling just thinking about how good their food was.

Also... San Diego is just pretty.

Mission: Relaxing Vacation: Day 1

2009-07-05T21:12:00.000-07:00

My Friend JTT and I planned a fourth of July trip. Our mission... to unwind and de-stress from a very busy time at work.

We started Wednesday... I left work a little early and headed for my parents house. (They had the beach chairs, beach towels, snorkel equipment and most importantly the boogie boards.) I beat JTT home from work so I went to Hilary's to visit the girls.

Annie was mid - breakdown when I arrived. It was almost hysterical if not for the tears. I plopped the unreasonable three year old down on my lap and asked her what the matter was (is that the right way to phrase that?).

She had no response so I asked if it was her hair... was her hair bothering her? More specifically... was the weight of her hair the problem... because if it was I would happily shave her little head. Luckily this got a giggle out of her and not a horrified shriek. Then I asked if the problem was one of her appendages. After debating which leg or arm I should chew off she was quickly her happy little adorable self again. Her and Ellie spent the next several minutes playing their favorite game. Annie would ride her bike... with Ellie holding on for dear life to the back.

So Cute!

JTT and I finally left for Vegas...

We arrived pretty late. We walked in the door and I think immediately that desk clerk thought, "I'll bet you they're Mormons." Later when he offered us a bottle of any type of alcohol we could desire and we said No Thanks he thought... "Yep, definitely Mormons." They upgraded our one night stay into a suite. Turned out to be The Donny and Marie Suite. Definitely Mormons.

Here is a perfectly hideous dress Marie wore once...

Here is some fun memorabilia saved for us to admire on a table that doubled as a lamp and had to be covered at night so we could sleep (not 'till the next morning did I discover the switch that turned it off.)
I loved my bed... It was soooo comfortable.

This was our view... I am not kidding. It was amazing. Why yes... those are the Bellagio Fountains. And yes... they are my favorite thing in Vegas.

And let me end with saying... I am appalled at the horrible depravity that can be found on the streets of Vegas...

I am also appalled at the depravity that can be found on my Blog. I apologize.

Anyone Looking for a Realtor?

2009-06-18T14:01:00.001-07:00

My friend Stephen ran into a really good realtor today while going to La Hacienda for lunch. Here is a picture of his card. He really looks legit, and doesn't seem like he would murder you in your sleep or anything like that.

I did edit out his contact info... just out of guilt.

Attack of the Clones

2009-06-01T15:17:00.000-07:00

I was born into a family of clones. Seriously... My Parents looked like siblings when they got married and therefore had children that looked just like each other except for hair styles. (Except for Poor Cody... but put a wig on that boy and he looks like a REALLY ugly Talina)

Here is us a about 5 years ago at Hilary's wedding.

Lacy and I have always looked the most alike. When we were younger we used to tell her she was adopted. She would run crying to my Mom and she would try to reason with her. Of course she's not adopted she looks almost exactly like Star. She would come back and argue that point. I responded with a ... "We had you genetically altered to look like me so that you wouldn't know."

I LOOOOOVVVVE it when people ask us if we are twins. I don't think Lacy appreciates it as much as I do. It may have something to do with the fact that I am 7 years older than her.

My oldest sister , Hilary, has two adorable children. And they are little clones of her! As soon as Annie was born her other Grandma commented... "Wow, now there's a Christensen Baby" Seriously she looked just liked each of us. When Ellie was born she looked more like the Hilary's husband's side of the family. We could never really pin down who she looks the most like. Well, Hilary posted this comparison picture on her blog earlier today and low and behold She looks like Me!!! Yay!

This is me... Judging People.

2009-05-29T13:02:00.000-07:00

My sister, Talina and I, went to see Confessions of a Shopaholic last weekend. In a word it was… ridiculous. I have to say I have never understood the obsession with name brands. To a degree yes, there is the better quality argument but…overall NO ONE needs to spend thousands of dollars on UGLY bags made by Prada or Gucci (those are the only two I know so I’m throwing their names out early.

Everything the heroine wears in that movie is ridiculous. Some of it is down right ugly. So many things had to die for her rather unfortunate wardrobe. There was the orange Muppet they killed and then gave her to wear as a jacket. Also the 4 Dalmatian puppies killed to provide a different jacket. (Isla Fischer would never need 101 Dalmatians to create a piece of clothing for her rather petite frame)

Here's the dead Muppet Jacket

Ridiculous

Now, I come from a family of shoppers, so I thought I could better relate to the story but… I can never relate to anyone who would spend THOUSANDS of dollars on purses, or sun glasses or even a dress. My family are shoppers but we are BARGAIN Shoppers. We usually walk around boasting the fact that we spent $3 on a pair of boots rather than $800 that would make these movie diva’s shriek.

Speaking of people I find ridiculous and spoiled…I have recently taken up playing tennis. My co-worker, Gianne invited randomly invited me to play with her. This proved to be incredibly comical. I literally cannot remember the last time I actually played tennis. Although I don’t think you can call what Gianne and I did playing tennis either. We’ve decided we need to take some lessons. There were points we were laughing so hard I couldn’t even move toward the ball. Let alone hit it.

One day we were playing and I noticed a young boy and girl playing in the court behind us. They were somewhere between 17-19 years old. They were both very attractive young people. The girl though… we will call her Melissa ( I took an office poll and they decided that was the snottiest name, no offense.) was ridiculous. She was pouty and whiny. If she messed up she would lamely exclaim that she was sorry but was in a super bad mood. And then maybe she would throw her tennis racket. Cute young boy was very kind and patient with her. If I ever acted that way I would have no friends but she was cute so could somehow magically get away with it

Ridiculous.

Learning InDesign

2009-05-26T05:00:00.000-07:00

My friends. I have finally learned InDesign. Gone are the days that I create my manual in PowerPoint. That's right, PowerPoint. It's ridiculous, I know, but REALLY user friendly.

So at work Kirstin and Kyrie taught a magnificent InDesign class and this is what I created. First I want to say I was inspired by my Niece Annie's love for Disney Princesses, My recent trip to Disneyland and my current single status.

What do you think?

California Land

2009-05-24T05:00:00.000-07:00

I'm back from vacation!!! And it was awesome. It started at 5am Saturday Morning. With my nieces Annie (3) and Ellie (1) it was the longest drive to California EVER! When we arrived we went straight to the beach. It was amazing.

We went to Disneyland on Mother's Day and it was so much fun. This trip would be my very first time actually going into California Adventures (which I stubbornly referred to as California Land). I have probably been to Disneyland 100 times. But for some reason had never made it to the new park.

Here's Me, Annie, Hilary, Ellie and Lacy in

front of the A before the park opened.

One of my favorite rides was the new Buzz Lightyear ride. My family and

I got pretty competitive. This is not my highest score but the most intense

picture they took of me. I thought it was hilarious so... here it is.

Ellie and Annie LOVED the characters. Ellie practically attacked

Pooh Bear and made out with Mickey Mouse's nose.

All the girls in the family. (Talina, Lacy, Ellie, Hilary, Karine (mom) and me)

Only Annie is missing from this picture.

She was in the park with for some Quality "Daddy and me" time.

My Sister Hilary is incredibly photogenic. I, on the other hand, am not. So only some of my pictures are ever available for viewing. The pictures I do like are much rehearsed. Hilary taught me all my tricks. Angle of the camera... my chin... I even use to practice my picture smile in a mirror because it usually looked like a sadistic grimace. Here's me and Hil putting all her tricks to use.

This picture was a result of me trying to get my face further from

the camera than Hilary's... she taught me that... but will also fight for that

enviable position. See even unprepared and laughing she looks great!

Here's a pic of Greg, Hilary, me, Lacy and Cody riding Splash Mountain.

Cody got soaked. And Lacy's face is priceless. She usually hams it up for photos.

My favorite day of the vacation was BEACH DAY!

I love the beach... my whole family does. We have actually planned entire

vacations just dedicated to the beach. This trip only had one day... and it was glorious.

We went boogie boarding, which is one of my favorite things to do. We are a family

that lives in Utah yet we own not one but several boogie boards. It was a warm day

but the water is still cold.

Universal Studios was so much fun. Here is My Sisters and I excited for the day. Park hours were only 10-5. What kind of amusement park is only open for 7 hours! I felt ripped off. But had a blast.

If you've been to Universal Studios you might have visited the special effects show. They teach you how real music magic is made. This is us before the show started. Later my Dad was chosen to do voice overs (hilarious, especially when they had him voice tinkerbell) and my Bro-in-law David was attacked my a killer puppet. It was awesome!

On Friday we went to Sea World, A Christensen Favorite. Seriously... next to the beach I would spend all my time at Sea World. Each one of us growing up wanted to work there as a trainer. In fact my bio-chemist sister was seriously considering quitting her job curing rare diseases in a lab to swim with Dolly the Dolphin.

One of Sea World's greatest shows has always been the Shamu show but... They have cheesed it up. It was like they were shoveling sappy crap on us and just when we thought it was over they would just keep it coming. The whales didn't actually do that much. They showed a video of one of their trainers childhood memories about how he loved Killer Whales... he loved them so much that he carved himself a killer whale necklace that he wore everyday... until today... when he took it off and gave it to a little girl picked from the audience who also wanted to be a Killer Whale Trainer. And now every little boy and girl can buy one of these necklaces for like $20 in the gift shop. bleh. Here's me and Hialry upset at the lameness of the show.

Our last day in California was spent at The Animal Park. Can you find me in this picture?

You can see one of my pant legs behind the mask. I was holding Ellie but Hilary wanted a "family" picture.

Here's my Dad the bird whisperer. He didn't even have anything for them to eat, but these guys just landed on him.

After the Animal Park we drove to Las Vegas... It was 110 degrees in Baker... Ridiculous. Who would live in a place that is 110 in May!? Not that I'm judging them... but I am.

All time favorite moment of my trip is brought to us by Lacy, my youngest sister. My Dad was getting very frustrated with us relying on Greg's GPS. He knew the way and didn't want to wait for instructions from the obnoxious Maggie. My Dad was at that angry don't tell me where to go I've been to California more times than all of you combined and I know where I'm going... And by the way I'm not lost stage. So when we took a turn and the other van called us inquiring "where we were going?" Lacy responded with "Wherever Dad's menstrual cycle takes us."

I laughed for about 5 minutes. It was just such the perfect moment!

I'm a Super Hero!

2009-05-23T19:28:00.000-07:00

Once a year my work holds an Employee Appreciation Week. And each year they theme it. The them my first year was Pirates. I don't remember much about that week except they gave us back packs, Rumbi Island Grill for lunch and this one guy dressed up as a pirate and had very heavy eye liner. I believe he was trying to channel Johnny Depp.

Last year they themed it after the 80's. They had break dancers come and perform. One of those dancers turned out to be Gev who later competed on “So you think you can dance” I don’t really watch that show but I was very quick to exclaim to my friends that I had, in fact, met Gev… that one time.

This year the theme was superheroes. It was a fun week. I got a free 15 minute massage (which as I sit hunched over my computer typing this post I long for next years) Friday was by far the best day. We could dress up as a Super Hero! Well… I actually wasn’t that keen on the idea. My friend, Ryan, called me Thursday night and encouraged me to participate. I complained that I didn’t have anything that could possibly work as a costume. He suggested a blanket cleverly disguised as a cape or maybe I owned some stretchy pants. {I don’t believe anything would persuade me to wear stretchy pants anywhere… let alone to work}
I did finally decide to go for it. I found a black shirt and spray painted the Batman Symbol to the front of it. I had a piece of fabric I turned into a cape and some black gloves that went to my wrists. And a mask. The coup de gras was my hot pink hair extensions. I really don’t think batgirl had those but it was fun! I actually didn’t wear the cape, gloves or mask but… I did have them. I felt so crafty. I also won a spiderman kite for dressing up and this adorable and embarrassing picture was emailed out to the company.
The absolute best part of the day was the Big Blow-up Bouncy Obstacle Course thing. It was one of the most hilarious things I’ve ever done! My friend Melissa was my reluctant competitor. We started by diving through this small hole. I ended up on the ground surrounded by these wiggly appendage like things. Every time Melissa or I moved one would swing down and smack me in the face. I was laughing so hard I couldn’t even stand up! Once through those I found myself facing a wall (literally and figuratively). An inflatable wall but a wall nonetheless. I honestly didn’t think I was ever getting over that thing. Eventually I did and the rest was much easier. Ending in a slide.

They also had one of those bungee run things. That was hilarious. I just went for it and was thrown back on my butt (and head and back). I have to say I am tough though. I seriously almost got my marker thingy to the very end. Later in the day I tried again but on the easier side. Well this time I did make it to the end. But my first time trying the bungee came unhooked from the wall and I thought I had suddenly developed super strength because I didn’t feel any resistance. It was hilarious and mortifying because someone from Marketing was there snapping pictures. If it does end up in my company newsletter I promise to post pictures on here.

Utah Service Day

2009-05-09T07:00:00.000-07:00

I’ve decided that today is the most service oriented day of the year. Never before have I seen so many service activities planned in the same month… let alone the same day. And it gives me just a warm fuzzy feeling. It’s awesome. The Stamp out Hunger Program, where mail carriers are picking up food for… hungry people I’m guessing. I think it’s the food bank but I don’t really remember.

My ward is planting trees somewhere.

And of course it’s the Race for the Cure. I have a lot of friends participating in this amazing cause this year. This has to be one of my very favorite Service Events.

And I know I’ve heard of three or four other projects going on today. Seriously that warms the cockles of my heart.

But… Instead of being service oriented and selfless and amazing like all my friends, I am instead on a road trip to fulfill my own selfish desires to see Disneyland, Universal Studios, the Beach, Sea World and many other wonders that await me in California. Hopefully not wildfires.

Good Job Utah! I salute you.

My New Blog

2009-05-07T12:18:00.000-07:00

What have I done?!? I've started a blog, something I swore I was never going to do {until I became one of those cute little Mormon mommies who posts large amounts of pictures of my adorable chitlins accompanied by cute anecdotes of their lives}.

But that was far into the future and here I am starting my own blog. All by my lonesome. It seems so narcissistic. But after much needling from my well-meaning friends I finally thought, why not, I'm totally narcissistic, vain and hilarious. Just the perfect combination to begin a blog. People deserve to know Star's True Story... or at least it will be based on a true story.

I really do worry about it though. Sure I'm telling people that the reason I finally caved and started a blog was because I'm so bad at keeping a journal. This is my new Journal, I say along with every other self-conscious blogger but... Really I would like people to hear about me and find me wildly entertaining. But as Nephi said... "neither am I mighty in writing, like unto speaking". Granted Nephi was talking about preaching the Gospel and I am talking about relating my almost nonsensical but otherwise hilarious stories.

At the beginning of my blogging journey I immediately realized the importance in naming my blog so I solicited help from my friends. Here are some of my favorite suggestions.

I say play off of some songs…

Beyond the Star
To the Edge and Back
I can’t believe you’re reading this, but since you are I hope you’re entertained
Ruminations on My Behaviors
Wanderings of a Random Chick

You think you know . . . but you have no idea . . . This is the Diary of Star

And my favorite sent to me by my friend Tracy, "Or go inspirational and use names of hymns. Okay, I was just kidding about that, but wouldn’t you love to call your blog “God Be With You Til’ We Meet Again… and again… and again…”?"

I'm not exactly sure why I picked the name I did but... I love it so...

The Joy of Running

2009-05-06T17:58:00.000-07:00

(throat clear) Joy seems to be the wrong word. It should read… The Horror of Running. First off, dear reader, I am not a runner. I never have been. Even as a healthy and highly energetic youngster I loathed the thought of running for entertainment. I really wasn’t a fan of tag, unless it was “missionary” tag, where you could run like 10 feet than link arms with someone else. I was the only child in my family not to play soccer (I played volleyball, little to no running involved in that magnificent sport. And Softball, once I became an amazing batter I could practically walk around those bases. But now… I have decided to become a runner.

This all began about a month ago. I have always been a walker. I love it! I can’t get enough of walking. It was seriously my absolutely favorite mode of transportation on my mission. I hated using the car; I could never talk to everyone. And lets face it folks, I looked ridiculous in a dress, on a bike, with that yellow bicycle helmet on! (Plus… lots of bad luck on the bike, once my skirt got caught in the chain and flipped me off the bike into traffic and another time a tarantula jumped out of a tree and landed on my back. I fell off my bike and managed a (throat clear) graceful tuck and roll kind of maneuver. I hate spiders especially ginormous ones.)

***I was trying to find a picture of me on my bike in the mission… it may take some digging. I really tried to avoid that picture***

Anyways, this is becoming a novel. I used to walk almost everyday for 3-7 miles but it really did nothing for me. So I decided to start running. I set some small goals for myself (5k – 10K etc) my little sister Lacy was thrilled with my new resolution. Lacy is an avid runner and immediately volunteered to be my running partner and coach.

Day 1: I told Lacy the absolute farthest I was capable of running and she seemed fine with that. She told me we would work our way up from there. We started our run and about half way through she informed me I was going to double my distance. I did it! But thought I was going to die. Lacy was hilarious the whole way though. Very encouraging and to take my mind off of the fact that I was dying she cheerfully chatted the whole way. I found myself unable to even make smart alecky remarks.

Day 2: Ran again but this time thought my lungs were going to explode. As I was silently telling myself that I was going to stop at the next 100 meter line and that Lacy couldn’t force me to keep running because I was her big sister and she couldn’t tell me what to do she began saying encouraging things like… “You can do this. Don’t tell yourself you can’t, or that you are going to stop up ahead. You capable of doing more than your brain is telling you.” Sweet, huh? All I could think was… “Stupid Lacy can read my mind” (grumble).

The other day I was running and asked Lacy when was running going to get fun. She replied… “Maybe in a couple of months… but it’s always going to suck”

As I'm running I often wonder when I became an asthmatic. Or I wonder when I picked up the habit of smoking a pack a day. I really should have much better lung capacity.

I am not much better at running now but… I do enjoy getting up obscenely early every morning and exercising. When I’m done I feel so accomplished, so proud! And I absolutely love getting to spend that time with my baby sister Lacy. So thanks Sis!

I don’t yet love running but…. I’m on my way there!